Broken-Chain1

Everyone Has A Breaking Point

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This is a guest submission by Benny from GetBusyLivingBlog.com

Thanks to Steve for giving me the chance to share my story.

If you didn’t know me and I told you what I owned what would you think?

  • I live in a 1900 sq ft home two story home
  • I drive a 2002 BMW M3
  • I just got back from a two month paid vacation in Taipei, Taiwan visiting my fiance.
  • I have a black American Express Business Centurion card. It’s made of titanium.

How do I have all these things? I work in the family business, which is a successful Japanese restaurant. I help manage the place and work the bar on the weekends. It’s not very hard. In fact, you’d probably think I had it easy if you saw me at work.

It’s a job that I certainly didn’t expect to do after graduating with a sports management degree. I just started helping out while figuring out what I wanted to do.

That was ten years ago.

I’m not there because I love. No, I absolutely hate my job.

Yes that’s right. It’s meaningless to me. I feel brain dead working there. I don’t like thinking about work or being there. It’s just not for me and I’ve known that for at least 5 years.

I work nights and weekends. I work every holiday except for Thanksgiving, including Christmas!

I’ve lost my patience for “the customer is always right” philosophy. Trust me, they aren’t. Is a customer right when they finish all their food and then they didn’t like it?

I don’t like getting the “what do you do?” question because I’m ashamed. The worst is when people ask me if I’m taking over the family business. I usually make a joke about it instead of saying “@$%# no!!”

I feel like my life is better used than running a restaurant. The money would be great, however, the agony, stress, and depression wouldn’t be worth it. I would gladly trade all the things I listed earlier (minus the finace’) for a job I truly loved.

The reason I’m still there is that I bought a house before I realized that I needed out! My mortgage has kept me from quitting.

Needing An Escape

hands-on-prison-bars

From 2007-09 I took a leave from my dreadful job because I needed to get away. Work was killing me.

I went halfway around the world to Taipei, Taiwan to study Chinese. I thought the time while I was away I would figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Great! I thought I’d come back and start brand new. Instead I came back and went back to the same job because I had no other options. I only blame myself.

The experience wasn’t a total loss however. It was great in that I didn’t have to think about my job for two whole years! I also met my fiancé there and I’m so thankful for that. We even lived together for three months in beautiful Sydney, Australia while she was taking teaching classes. How amazing is that?

The happiness ended when I came back in February 2009 and thought I’d go back to only a few days each week. Of course that didn’t work out and it turned into 6 days. My life had come full circle and I was back in the same old grind.

It’s Time For A Change!

I’ve always been interested in the web. My first website was back in 1995 when I created a page about watching a taping of “The Late Show with David Letterman”. I wrote about how I got tickets, lined up, and what to expect. It became one of the go to sites in the niche. This was back when stat counters were cool.

I’ve always spent a lot of time on the computer. Maybe too much sometimes. So I figured I enjoy being on the computer and the Internet, why not find a way to make it my living?

I’ve kept the idea of full time blogging in my head for as long as I can remember. I used to run a sports blog for 2 years and have started countless blogs only to lose interest quickly. I’ve even owned Get Busy Living for more than two years but didn’t do anything to make it successful.

So much for taking my own blog’s advice, huh?

Then one day in October 2010 I had another stressful night at work. I felt frustrated and depressed at my situation. I’ve had countless nights like that but this time I had enough! I came home, typed a manifesto to myself to stop this life of unhappiness and wasting my time doing nothing.

I’ve taped it to the wall behind my computer and on the bathroom mirror. I see it everyday.

Not The Only Change I Needed

I’ve always been one to exercise and try to not eat too much junk food. In 2010, both slowly faded away.  My stress led me to laziness and overeating. My pants were getting tight.

I stepped on the scale and I was 189 pounds! Shocking for me because I’ve always been around 165-175 since college. I was disappointed in myself. If I didn’t stop this unhealthy lifestyle, I knew I would continue to gain weight.

I thought to myself, “What goal could I set to push me to lose weight?” I made a crazy goal of a half marathon cause I knew with all that running I would lose weight. I signed up for one three months away. I trained and changed my diet. That helped tremendously with my energy level and motivation.

Three months later, I ran my first half marathon finishing in 2:04, lost 15 pounds and felt great! This past February I ran my second half marathon in 1:58.

It was during this time I started finding blogs again about people talking about making money online, working anywhere with an internet connection, and living life on your own terms. Without running, I may not have begun to take action.

The Journey Begins With A Single Step

steps

I started my blog, Get Busy Living, three months ago. I wish i had started three years ago. It’s amazing what three months of dedicated work will do. It consumes me all day but I love it. So far on this journey I’ve met great people doing great things so far online. It’s those kind of people I want to surround myself with, learn from, and help in anyway.

We just want to leave our boring meaningless jobs, work on projects that we love, and wake up feeling excited to live. It sounds very simple and it’s possible cause there are so many doing that right now. If they can do it why can’t we?

The goal for my blog is to empower others to stop feeling sorry for your life and embrace it like it’s the only life you’ve got. We’re all amazing individuals but need to take away the years of self-doubt to truly live.

I know a blog alone isn’t a business but I have to treat it that way if I want out of my job. So I will look for ways to create products and promote others.

I’m working on other income streams and starting with an iPhone photo app. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since last year but finally took action. I’m excited and nervous about it. I’ve spent more time and money than I anticipated but I’ve enjoyed the process. Expect it before the end of June.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

After years of inaction, I’m taking action. I’m still figuring out what excites me every day but I know when I create, I find it exciting. When I’m helping people be remarkable, it’s exciting.

Am I on the right path? I believe so. I don’t have a laid out plan cause in life plans change. I’m moving forward and that’s the only direction to go.

For me, the only option is this. I had my breaking point. I will leave my job. I only wish I had started preparing sooner.

Benny is a 33 year old living in Jacksonville, FL. He feels 2011 will be his best year so far. He’s not going to passively live life anymore but show life how he wants it. He hopes to show you’re meant for an exciting life at GetBusyLivingblog.com. Feel free to follow him through Twitter or Facebook and say hi.

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45 thoughts on “Everyone Has A Breaking Point”

  1. What a great story! It is amazing how much we go through with still so much to do! I am really impressed with your way of thinking and just by reading this post can tell you with confidence that you will succeed with your dream. I think 90% of making dreams come true is the passion and motivation. You definitely have both. I really look forward to following you on this journey :)
    Julia recently posted…Why I Left 60-000 a Year for 700 a MonthMy Profile

    1. Thank you Julia for taking the time to read it! It wasn’t the easiest post to write cause from the outside it might seem like I have it all but really there’s a void missing. However sharing it here, with others who understand made it easier.

      I’m glad to have met you as well and will follow your journey in Costa Rica. Gracias!

    2. Hey Steve,

      I mentioned Julia to you about a possible guest post here on Twitter. She said she’d love to if you’re up for it. I think her story would be a nice addition here.

  2. Benny, This post was amazing. I’m so glad you shared this story with the world. I think it will truly truly inspire people or make them hate you for going for what you want in life rather than sitting around like a couch potato.

    I have no doubt that you will do great things, why do you think i keep riding your coat tails. I’m getting all your cast off :)

    I would love to see a story like this on your own blog. I’m working on one like this as a guest post for pretty popular blog but i’m doing it slowly because, as you know, it’s scary putting yourself out there to be ridiculed and judged.

    Anyways, stay out of jail ok? Haha that was a joke. An inside joke :P Wink
    annie Andre recently posted…How To Travel Like A Gypsy- Video Update Where Is Annie And FamilyMy Profile

    1. Hey Annie! I write to this to you as I sit in my jail cell (aka work). :)

      When Steve asked me to write I knew I had a story of how much I hated my job but not sure exactly what I would do to end the grind. He made suggestions to edit it and clean it up so I’m glad it came out now because I have a more clear focus on what I want to achieve.

      It’s like I have a secret life. People in the offline world have no idea of these feelings I have. They just see what I own and think I’m happy.

      A blog like this it’s a community of people who totally understand my frustrations and tell me to go for it!

      Thanks for your “quality” comment! It’s a bit nervous to tell my story and then see how it will be received.

  3. Well good luck Benny I think you are on the right track and better late than never. I think you will find an amazing amount of support on the internet for your journey. I assume you aren’t married or have kids which gives you more options to experiment and take chances with less risk. If not now when?
    Riley
    Riley Harrison recently posted…WHY DO YOU LEAD A LIMITED LIFEMy Profile

    1. Thank you Riley! I have no kids but will be getting married sometime at the end of the year. My fiancé knows of my frustrations and my goals but I kinda feel in the back of her mind she’s skeptical.

      Just have to work hard and show her I’m not crazy. :)

      There are amazing people I have met online who inspire me and encourage me. I’m grateful for that.

      Yes I do wish I started all this just two years earlier but better now then later.

      Thanks so much for your comment Riley.

  4. Very inspirational story, Benny. I think all of us who are still committed to “ending the grind” have felt all the frustrations and anxieties you’ve faced. I work in HR and I hate having to hear the same stories everyday. It’s taxing.

    But, we get inspiration to pursue our goals of career independence by peers, like Steve and others who feel our pain. Reading blogs of people who’ve actually gone and pursued their dreams is definitely inspiring.

    We’ll eventually reach these goals of independence from the “ball and chain” of the normal guy. We’ll be able to laugh about this one day, hanging out on a beach in Taipei one day!
    Kevin Douglas recently posted…New to Google Chrome- 5 Great Extensions for the Online EntrepreneurMy Profile

    1. I like the sound of that Kevin!

      I definitely do read blogs of people who have been there, done that to learn from them. But I also read the ones who are on the same level as me.

      Because I read those blogs and I understand the frustration but at the same time I’m cheering for them to make progress and get one step closer to making the dreams become reality.

      Glad you reached out to my early days to join Triberr. Really appreciate that. Still the best named tribe IMO!

      Thanks Kevin!

    1. Thank you Debbie.

      When I’ve read the guest post here I see myself in many of them. Some paragraphs could have been said by me!

      You have a great looming website about European travel! I want to make a trip there one day and see it by rail.

    1. Thanks Matt. Didn’t recognize you without your avatar. I had to click to your page to know it was you. :)

      I do try hard but know I need to work harder and smarter.

      Yes I’m glad to be doing this now for sure. Been a nice ride so far. I’m dreaming of bigger things to come though.

      Thanks so much for being a reader!

    1. Thank you Justin. I wish I would have put my negative energy into a driving force for change earlier.

      However glad I’m starting now. Thanks for commenting Justin!

  5. Good for you Benny,

    I sort of got fed up with the corporate world lifestyle as well and moved my sales training business online. I’m now consulting with clients over the phone and through e-mail and things are going better than ever. It wasn’t always easy though. The number one piece of advice I have for you is to keep hustling and to always believe in the path you’ve decided to take. I’m confident you’ll make it, you’ve got the right mindset and attitude.

    All the best to you,
    Wim
    Wim @ Sales Sells recently posted…The Customer Or Your Company- Whose Side Are You OnMy Profile

  6. Hey Benny,

    Great post man, thanks for providing such an honest and insightful view into your own life. I’m happy to hear you’re making big progress! From what I’ve seen from you so far I’m very impressed, definitely a future “rockstar” in the blogosphere.

    It’s so easy for us to get stuck in a rut doing something we don’t enjoy. Glad you’re working towards doing something that you’ll love. Sure you’ll do amazing. Great stuff man, you deserve the success!

    Steve, awesome blog you have here buddy and thanks for featuring this superb post!

    1. Hey Robert,

      Yes Steve’s got something cool going on over here. Glad I could be a part and share my story.

      Thanks for the kind words Robert! I’m hustling. There are days when I feel energize then days when I’m down. It’s all part of the journey.

      Gotta build up that momentum!

  7. Love the honesty Benny! Actually, it does sound like you have it all! Imagine if you had no family biz to go to and no job!

    You should check out “When Hobbies Become Full-Time Jobs” on Yakezie.com. It make make you think twice about blogging full time!

    Best,
    Sam
    Financial Samurai recently posted…When Hobbies Become Full-Time JobsMy Profile

    1. Thanks Sam! Last week I listened to your interview on Blogcast FM. I enjoyed listening to it. I like hearing about how you came up with the names of your two websites.

      I did read your post on Yakezie. I meant to leave a comment on it. I’ll go and do that.

  8. I totally know where you’re coming from mate!

    I’ve also been, should I say “pushed” into the family business. Coincidentally enough also in the restaurant business, however we specialize in Chinese & Vietnamese dishes.

    Honestly I hate it too and I can so relate to the whole “the customer is always right” bullshit. I feel so empty doing this. It’s just a mean to get by than anything else.

    What I truly want to do is express myself. Express myself truly and with passion. This I can not do with my current work.

    However this work is more for helping my family out and I’m lucky to have parents who understand this and support me on my future endeavors.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Keep it up my asian brother! ;-)

    1. Allan!

      Thanks for coming here and sharing.

      Anyone who works in the restaurant business for awhile knows that the customer isn’t always right. Before I used to be all polite when I talked to customers. Now if they’re out of line, I’ll give it right back at them. I’m sure you’ve got some stories about people like that.

      I agree that I also want to express myself, have a voice, have a meaningful life.

      That’s why I’ve stayed so long too. It’s cause it’s for family. If I worked for someone else, I would have quit 5 years ago for sure!!

      Always good to read what you’ve got to say.

  9. Hey Benny, quite a story and probably not unlike what many are feeling. The restaurant/hospitality industry is certainly a ‘lifestyle’ and either you love it or you hate it. You are working most of the time everybody is off.

    At the end of the day you certainly want to look forward to the day when you get out of bed in the morning. It might mean you give up some material things along the way, but life is short; don’t forgo you happiness.

    It sounds like you are still early in your journey and I certainly hope you find what you are looking for and it is a fulfilling journal for you. Good luck
    Bill Dorman recently posted…Billy goes Hollywood – my attempt at a vlogMy Profile

    1. Hey Bill,

      I really appreciate you taking the time to read my little story.

      The restaurant industry is not easy and I have respect for people who do it and do it well.

      I know when I’m out eating I have extra patience with the servers if they’re busy or they forget something because I know what it’s like.

      Thanks Bill and look forward to more videos from you. :)

    1. Hey Brad!

      Thanks so much for coming here and reading my guest post.

      Yes both our blogs are in the infant stages still. Of course I do wish you well too! Keep on rockin it.

      I can make a decent cocktail but prefer to drink them. Hope we can toast to our success one day. :)

      Thanks Brad!

  10. What a great story Benny! It’s clear that you’re on a mission; one that you’re focused on making happen.

    I commend you for sharing this story and I understand why you do so. Putting your story out there creates a commitment. I do the same thing. It helps me hold myself accountable for making sure that I follow the path that I want to follow. If I throw it out to the world, I’m much more likely to follow through.

    At some point we have to put our foot down and commit to living according to what makes us happy. I’m in the middle of juggling the the same thing. My situation is a little different, but still, at the end of the day it falls back on working towards working and living a life of fulfillment – not of dread and wonder of what it could be like on the other side.

    I wish you the best of luck Benny. I feel the sincere commitment in the tone of this post. I can feel the energy and passion running through. I’m honored to be here to follow your journey.

    PEACE
    Jk Allen recently posted…Bring the Hustle to the BustleMy Profile

    1. Thank you JK for taking the time to read it.

      You’re right about accountability. It took me till recently to realize how important it is.

      It’s not easy to put yourself out there like this and say “hey this is what I’m going to be doing” because now I’ve gotta go and do it. I don’t want to lose face.

      I do appreciate your words and life lessons. You’re very authentic in your voice and I enjoy that.

      Talk to you soon!

  11. Benny I feel for you bro! but knowing that you have found the strength and willpower to make a change is very encouraging to me.

    You show that it’s not always the material things that matter, and I’m hoping you and your fiance can move into a much better phase of your lives.

    Make sure to let me know when that iPhone app hits we’ll promote the f#$k out of it!! lol!

    I’m gonna be sending all kinds of positive energy your way so hang in there and keep fighting the good fight. You’ve already taken impressive steps to change your life so I know it’s gonna happen.

    All the best!
    John Garrett recently posted…Unfinished Business…My Profile

    1. Thanks John!

      When I read your post here I definitely can feel your pain too. That’s what I like about EOG. We all just understand and support.

      Thanks so much for the positive energy! Send me enough so I can fly like Superman will you?

      I will let you know when my app is live. Thanks so much!!

    1. Thanks Harriet. I haven’t broken away but at least now I have a vision and plan. I’m working towards that goal every day.

      Thank you for taking the time to read it!

  12. Sorry I’m just now making it over there. Better late than never right! Great post Benny and thank you for sharing even more about you with all of us.

    I’ve been where you’ve been. Making great money, living the life but totally miserable every time I walked in the house. I was stressed and ticked off mainly because of the people I had to deal with in my work environment. You can’t change other people right! But my position consisted of others doing their work right and trust me, that didn’t happen often.

    I have no doubt that you are on the right path. You have that desire and determination, something I don’t think you had earlier on. Also knowing that you’ll soon be walking down that isle can spark a man to do better.

    I honestly believe that anything you chose to do, you’ll do well. It’s just something inside of you that keeps you going and knowing that you don’t want to continue where you are. I’m excited for what you are doing right now and can’t wait to hear more about your phone app. I have no doubt it will be a big success.

    Have a blessed day my friend. Thanks again for sharing.

    Adrienne

    1. Hi Adrienne! It’s definitely hard to change people around you so it’s better to distance yourself from those people for sure!

      Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. It’s an everyday process. I wish there was a fast forward button so I can get to the good parts. :)

      However I’d rather slow down and enjoy life one day at a time while I’m at it.

      Thanks so much for you comment! I only came up about 100 comments short of the record here! LOL!

  13. whoa seriously awesome post Benny.

    I sorta knew you didn’t like the family business, but I had no idea you hated it with such passion. Good for you trying to go out there and grab destiny by the horns.

    Safe choices aren’t always the best choices. I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t be willing to walk away from a job that can provide a fancy car, nice house, and baller credit card. But we only have one life to live, so we should all go out and pursue our passions and live the life we want. Major props to you man!

    1. Hey Paul!

      Yeah I do. I try not to be so negative about it online but with this post and another one I posted recently on my blog, I let my frustrations out a little bit.

      Safe choices suck! No not many people would walk away from a paycheck that provides those things but I honestly wouldn’t continue my job even if I got paid more.

      So I’m working on Ending the Grind for sure!

      Thanks for reading Paul!

  14. I really love that bamboo analogy. That’s the coolest thing I’ve heard this week! Thanks for sharing that!

    I really thought money would be every thing. I got more money so I bought a house and things to fill the house.

    Years later what was on the inside was still empty though I was surrounded by what people would love to have.

    I’m very glad to have met you as well! Definitely very grateful for that and to learn from you as I move along on this journey.

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