I went for a run today and in the midst of listening to “Titanium”, I got to thinking about my life. By all accounts, I have it all: A thriving personal training business, ample freelance writing work, total flexibility over my schedule, 2 incredible daughters, and a wonderful relationship with a highly supportive woman.
But the more I ran, the more angry I got.
And as I yelled out an emphatic “FUCK!” and took my frustrations out on the ground by doing another set of pushups, it hit me.
I was angry because I’m playing the game of life in a small and insignificant way. I am playing it like a fucking pussy.
I have all the tools necessary to be make a huge impact on how people live their lives, have the quality of life I want, and earn more than enough money to allow me to achieve all my financial goals.
But I have been keeping those tools locked up in the shed and all I want to do is break down the fucking door and use them!
And the thing holding me back from using them is fear. Nothing more.
We Have The Tools Already!
I think about all of you who are living this way as well. You fly under the radar, fearful of what might happen if you take action on something important, all the while going through the motions of living a productive and happy life.
You have all the tools necessary to live a life of abundance, a life of inexplicable wealth, health and peace. You really do.
You have tremendous skills that you aren’t using.
You have a passion and desire to be great, but fail to do anything about it.
You have the ability to change your circumstances this very instant.
But you don’t.
And it pisses me off that you (and I) are choosing to play it safe. Why the fuck are we doing this? Why can’t we say “fuck you” to the rules of life and live how we want?
A Self Imposed Prison
When you read my writing, you may think I’m doing great and in all reality, I am. I have an incredible fucking life right now. I work for myself helping people get fit and healthy. I set my own hours, choose my clients, and make a very healthy hourly wage. I get to write about my passions on this blog and thousands of people read it every month.
But I’m still pissed because I’m living by the fucking rules that I’ve set in my own mind. A self imposed prison if you will. I, like many of you, allow the social norms to dictate what I can and cannot do. This holds true for my business as well.
As you may or may not know, I have dedicated myself to pursuing my passion for connecting with people on a deep level and helping them break free from self limiting beliefs. To help people find what they love to do and be the impetus for it coming to fruition. I’m all in with this.
This blog is a huge part of my life and future and is the catalyst for much of what I want to accomplish in the next 5 years.
And I’m worried that I’m doing it all wrong…
The “Rules” of Online Business
I’m so tired of spinning my wheels worrying that someone might unsubscribe from my email list because the “rule” clearly states that “the money is in the list” and if I ever want to earn a full-time income online, I have to have that damn list!
I worry that when one of my posts does shitty and nobody seems to care about it, I’m going to fail because I believe the weight of my future success rests in the hands of this blog.
I worry that I’m not doing enough, working fast enough, helping enough, and creating enough to ever stand out and make a dent in the blogosphere.
But this worry has kept me playing a small game, a game where I am more concerned about how I will look versus actually what comes naturally and from my heart.
It’s a game I cannot win.
Fuck The “Experts”
Just about every expert online will tell you that all the things that need to happen for an online business to be successful.
Just because the industry says split testing works, so what? Just because list posts do well in search engines, so what? Just because writing attention grabbing headlines is the best way to get someone to read your post, so what?
And these things may all be true and work well and I’m just an idiot, but I don’t care. I’m tired of listening to them.
Sure, following Jeff Walker’s Product Launch Formula will work and you’ll make money. Sure, joining a mastermind group and sharing ideas with your peers is useful. Sure, listening to Podcast after Podcast learning about your trade makes sense.
But guess what else works? Not doing the PLF. Not joining a mastermind. Not Listening to another Podcast.
How about pouring out your heart and soul into what you do and doing it for the right reasons?
Does this mean that I’m going to disregard all conventional business wisdom and best practices and do whatever the hell I want? No.
But as my coach, Izzy Arkin, recently told me in one of our conversations, “there are no rules” and I believe him. Think about that for a moment. What if there were no “rules” to success online or in any business for that matter? What if you simply did what you love and did it from the heart?
What would that look like?
Would it matter that your opt in form used the word “newsletter” or if your About Page wasn’t perfectly written for the reader? It’s just like your life. Working a job, earning a regular paycheck, and collecting health benefits works and most people do exactly that.
But so does saying “fuck it”, quitting, and taking the world by the balls!
Now Get Pissed!
What are you pissed off about? Surely there is something that ignites your anger and makes you want to club a baby seal over the head (OK, maybe that was a bit extreme).
I remember reading a post by Mars Dorian, To Hell With Passion, I Have Found Something Way Better, and he nailed it when he said that anger was a more productive emotion than passion.
We all have passions we would love to explore but most of us won’t do jack shit about it. It’s all well and good to think about the “what if’s”, but it’s not enough. What if I could only teach rock climbing full-time or what if I could only spend my summers in Europe or what if I could only make more money and start that business I’ve always wanted to???
If living a life that doesn’t excite you and feeling trapped in an average existence doesn’t piss you off, you have a problem. A BIG one.
Either you’ve checked out mentally and are merely passing the hours away until you die or you’ve lost your purpose. I can’t help you if you are the former, but if you are the latter, there is hope.
You need to get so fucking pissed off that your life sucks that you have to take action. That fire is in there somewhere and it’s your responsibility to find it and unleash it.
Use Anger To Fuel Your Actions
I woke up today feeling blah; neither good nor bad. I had my day planed out and among other things, was going to write a post about confidence. I wrote more than half of it and then went for my run.
When I returned from my anger fueled exercise session, I sat down and wrote this post without stopping. It took me well over 3 hours but I couldn’t not write this.
It was anger driving me. Anger at myself and nothing else.
I don’t like being angry but realize that it’s my ally. My anger is literally forcing me to do shit I would otherwise not do.
Getting After It
My online business has not taken off and the reason is that I’m not selling anything here yet. Duh.
The first step is launching my Accountability Program, which I have been procrastinating for several months now. I have 4 pages of notes with all my thoughts and ideas on it but have put it off because I have been afraid of doing it all wrong.
But I realize now that it doesn’t really matter. Sure, I’ll fuck some things up and make mistakes, but so what? There are NO rules about how I do it, when I do it, and why I am doing it.
So what I’m going to do is live my life and build my business without hesitation from now on.
If I fuck it up, then I fuck it up. There are a thousand ways to get to the end goal and damned if I won’t find one of them…
And the same goes for you. Whatever your business, there is nothing stopping you from creating a new set of rules and doing it your way. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to fit into someone else’s idea of right and wrong.
Now get pissed and get after it!!