Yea, just like the Ice Cube song, you CAN do it if you put your ass into it. Although the song is definitely not about building a business or pursuing your passions (unless your passion is getting laid), it’s a great metaphor for going after what you love.
Think YOU Have No Confidence?
I graduated high school in 1989 with barely enough credits to get my diploma, a permanently greasy mullet from raiding my mother’s Alberto VO5 stash, a mouthful of crooked teeth, and a cheesy peach fuzz mustache that would make Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite laugh.
I wasn’t in a cool click. I didn’t participate in sports. I didn’t have a girlfriend. I didn’t go to prom.
Needless to say, I wasn’t the most confident kid in school. In fact, I was so terrified of being noticed that I would often “forget” my oral reports in class so I wouldn’t have to humiliate myself in front of others. It got so bad that I was literally one assignment away from not graduating at all.
I can still hear my business communications teacher telling me that if I didn’t get out of my chair and speak, I would be held back another year. Oh Shit.
And as my nervous eyes scanned the classroom for disapproving eyes and felt the warm trickle of sweat running down from my armpits, I quickly mumbled my way through a half-assed presentation about Lee Iacocca and walked away with a solid C-.
Yea, I was that dork who didn’t fit in, was 6 inches shorter and 40 pounds lighter than every other kid in school, and just wanted to fit in somewhere. Anywhere…
But looking back, I realize that I wasn’t a freak, a loser, or anything like that. I just had no confidence in myself. Had I been more confident, I would have had a far better experience in school. Instead of looking back at it now as some of the worst years of my life, I would be thinking about all the kick ass times I had living it up Varsity Blues style!
I know now that I could have been an A student, had plenty of friends, dated a popular girl, and played on the baseball team. But I didn’t believe that was possible at the time.
Confidence Makes ALL The Difference
For every cocky teenager kid who thinks he’s a bad ass and knows everything about everything, there is an awkward and scared shitless kid hiding in his room playing PlayStation 4.
And for every successful business professional who seems to have the world at their feet, there is a hopelessly lost individual sitting in their cubicle taking shit from their boss and coworkers.
And the biggest difference in where they are in their lives is not the Ivy League education or the BMW i Series in their garage, it’s their confidence.
Both are capable of doing great things, living the life they want to live, and spending their days being happy.
One is confident that this is possible while the other is doubtful. One pushes forward in life and the other is reluctant. One knows that setbacks are not failures and one feels defeated when they happen. One knows what they’re best at and uses those skills to get ahead and one has no idea what they excel at and if they did, wouldn’t know how to use them.
I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!
Regardless of how badly you want something or how hard you try, it’s not going to happen unless you actually believe it’s possible. People think themselves out of happiness and success every single day.
And this starts with the confidence that it can and will happen.
On the surface, it’s easy to tell ourselves that we’re good enough, smart enough, and unique enough to be/do/have what we want, but it’s not quite that simple. It’s what is deep within our psyche that grants us the power to achieve at a higher level.
Confidence isn’t something that you just have. It’s learned.
Our minds dictate what happens in our lives. If we think about negative shit all day long, guess what? Negative circumstances fall upon us. I can tell you first hand the destructive power of thinking this way.
A few months after my ex-wife and I separated, I was in a bad place. I had hit a low point and was drowning my sorrows in a diet consisting of a copious amount of Red Bull, Taco Bell burritos, and sad movies.
I was feeling run down, depressed, and just plain shitty. And although I knew that we had made the right decision to split, I missed my daughters, was lonely, and felt like a failure for not being able to hold my marriage together.
I thought about all the bad things in my life, dwelled on what could have been, and sought refuge in things that brought me down even further.
And as things spiraled downward, I began to believe that I was undeserving of happiness. And it wasn’t until I made a conscious decision to stop wallowing in misery and get my shit together that things started turning around.
And you know what? When I started changing my thoughts and habits, I started noticing some strange things happening. Quality people, positive experiences, and good fortune started coming into my life. And I began to believe that maybe I was good enough to enjoy the things in life I wanted.
Put Your Ass Into It
If you think that being confident and believing in yourself is enough to get you to where you want in life, I have some bad news. Unless what you want in life is to sit around waiting for things to happen for you, you’re going to need to do some actual work.
I honestly believe that you are capable of creating an epic life (and I’m not a fan of the word “epic”) but you better be willing to bust your fucking ass to get it.
By all means, if you want to continue down the path you’re on, do it. If you want to improve your life, make a few changes. But if you want to wake up each day feeling like you can take on the world, then get to work and start right now.
Surround Yourself With The Right Peeps
Having personally gone through some heavy emotional shit, I’m here to save you from doing what I did. I can tell you that there is nothing worse than looking at all the bad shit in your life and giving it the power to control you. It can and will suck your confidence and the life from you and if left alone, can seriously fuck you up.
Don’t do what I did. It’s not worth spending even a minute of your life in self-doubt. You have everything you need right now to live a fucking awesome life. You may not see it, but it IS there.
I was fortunate enough to find some great people when I needed them most and I know it made a huge difference in where I am today.
There are people in your life who believe in you and know your true worth. There are people who will build you up and help you become better. And there are people who will challenge you and open your eyes to the endless possibilities that are right in front of you.
Part of my upcoming accountability program will be geared towards helping you find that confidence that’s lying dormant and waking it the fuck up! I’ll be sharing all the details about it in my post on 7/29 and am jacked about it!
And here’s the deal. I know you can bust out of your grind and live a great life.
But do you?