My Life In 2300 Words
Nov

Thanks To YOU
I was hoping to post this article yesterday, given it being Thanksgiving and all, but I just couldn’t get it done..
Given the dramatic shift in my life recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about all the things I have to be thankful for. My focus has been on the positives and what I have to look forward to instead of where I am and what I’m dealing with.
I’ve wallowed in misery and felt sorry for myself quite long enough.
From October 2010 until my interview with Penelope Trunk, I was writing all about getting out of a crappy job. My posts were written out of anger, frustration, and desperation. And while I was honestly trying to help people to understand that life is far too short to waste away in a cubicle, I wasn’t writing what I needed to be writing.
Hindsight is of course 20/20, but I wouldn’t change anything I’ve done with this blog so far (I can hear you Internet marketers groaning now!). After that fateful interview, I have received an incredible amount of support (and a few haters) and I’ve been truly in awe of all of this. I had no clue that the interview and my story would hold so much interest and help so many people.
Needless to say, I am eternally grateful for all the attention and more so, all the genuine caring and thoughtfulness I’ve been privy to. But as I was answering all the comments and emails that have flooded in since the interview, I realized that I have shared very little of myself here.
My goal is to create a personal journey of my life starting at a low point (to say the least) and recreating myself, finding joy in my life again, and pursuing my passions and dreams. My goal is to become a better man, live with peace in my heart, and embrace each day as it comes.
And I want to inspire others to do the same.
And I feel as though I need to share where I came from and who I really am in order to become that person. So here is a brief history of my life and what’s made me who I am today.
1971
Born with Pneumonia and almost die due to a physician error. My father has to restrain himself from beating the doctor to a pulp. Thus begins a lifetime struggle with adversity.
1976
After a tumultuous marriage between my parents, it comes to a screeching halt as my mother leaves us in Michigan with our father and heads to New Hampshire. My father, then in graduate school at Michigan State University, has no savings and very little income. My brother and I, along with my father, sleep in his small windowless office for 4 months. My brother, then 3, gets to sleep in a cabinet drawer.
Divorce papers are filed.
1977
As the divorce proceeding begins, my mother returns to Michigan to claim her children. A bitter custody battle begins. My brother and I are caught in the middle and ultimately taken from our father and sent to live with our mother, who takes us back to New Hampshire. My father is devastated and has no money to appeal. He loses the two most important things in his life. He chooses to be strong and continues his education and begins his PhD program at UCLA.
1979 (The Beginning)
My mother, brother, and I move into a small 2 bedroom apartment where we would live until I finally moved out at age 19. My brother and I also begin our yearly summer long trips to Los Angeles to stay with our father. Our entire summers are filled with sports, swimming, BBQ’s, and trips to Disneyland. We learn how to be boys during these trips.
Our summers are great until the end of August when it’s time to take that long flight back to Logan Airport. I still remember flying alone with my 4 year old brother and the flight attendants bringing us extra pillows and playing cards.
The pain of leaving our father at the end of each summer break was very sad for us and heartbreaking for him. My father would walk us onto the airplane and as we all were in tears, would say our goodbyes. Thus begins my lifelong hatred for airports.
1980-1986 (The Worst Years)
There were some of the worst years of my life. As I got older, the more I wanted to live with my father. And the more I wanted to live with him, the more I was used as a bargaining chip. Child support was always an issue for my mother as she was struggling to make ends meet while trying to raise 2 boys. It became about how much money my mother could extract from my father and his disdain for her grew into hatred. To this day he can’t stand to be in the same room with her.
These were the years that I also began to resent my mother and pulled away from her emotionally. I began to struggle in school and lost all confidence in myself. I became very introverted and lost myself in video games. It was also the time in my life where I started getting bullied.
It was 1985 and I was in 8th grade at Elm Street Junior High School in Nashua New Hampshire. Elm Street was a very foreboding place and the dark hallways always had an ominous feel to them.
It was here that I ran into my bully, Roger. Roger was a tough city kid who just so happened to be much bigger than me and seemed to enjoy fighting as a hobby. I was pretty small for my age and was scared of my own shadow, so I was an easy target.
For whatever reason, Roger decided to threaten to beat me up every day during English class. Each night I would lie in my bed and either cry or try to think of an excuse I could use not to go to school the next day.
I began walking around in fear. I hated school and I did poorly. I hated my mother and avoided her as much as possible. I told no one about my bullying and let it eat at me for years.
I knew that I had no chance of winning a fight against him so I decided to try to befriend him and his tough group of friends instead. It worked. Unfortunately, I betrayed one of my own friends who had said some bad things about these kids and he did get beaten up. I lost my friend that day and began hanging out with my new “friends”.
Fortunately the day never came where Roger actually beat me up. He never touched me. But he might as well have. I carried that pain for many years, even well into my twenties. Hell, I might even still be holding onto it….
1989 (The Year Of Invisibility)
The year of my high school graduation. I spent my three years of high school being invisible. After junior high, I lost touch with the bad kids and really didn’t have any friends at all.
I slept through my days, took all the easiest classes, and avoided most interactions with people. I was obsessed with video games and would spend most of my time at home playing them. In my senior year, I never had a single day of homework. That’s how easy my classes were.
Big aspirations for my future? None at all. All I wanted to do was get through school and never go back. That’s it.
My senior year should have been a good year as it is for so many kids. I didn’t date, didn’t go to my prom, and barely graduated. I actually wouldn’t have graduated at all if I didn’t stammer my way through my final exam in my Business class, which was an oral report on Lee Iaccoca. I was absolutely petrified to stand up and speak.
To this day, I still remember some of the popular kids in my class getting up and running around the class doing victory laps after their speeches. I thought, “why can’t I be like them”? But I wasn’t. I was 5’6 and 120 pounds. I had long stringy hair, bad skin, and crooked teeth.
Not the best experience for me….
1990
Needless to day, I didn’t go to college. Despite my father’s (now a UCLA professor) offer to fully fund my education, I wanted nothing to do with it. Looking back, this was one of the worst decisions I have ever made. At 40, I’m still going to school trying to get my degree. Yea, it sucks..
I did manage to muster up enough courage to almost join the Army though. I took my ASVAB test, did surprisingly well, and was told I could choose from almost any job. I decided that I wanted to be an MP (military police).
Then the fear came back and I chickened out. My recruiter, Sargent Seager, was none too happy, but I just couldn’t pull the plug.
1991-1999 (The Better Years)
I finally came into my own in my early twenties. I hit puberty at like 19 (sad, I know) and started to develop. I also started making friends and actually began dating!
I also started working out like a madman and began to build my scrawny little frame. The girls started noticing me and I of course, noticed them right back. Thus began the fun years. I was trying to catch up an all the partying and fun I missed my whole life and crammed it into a handful of years.
I traveled all over the country, bartended, became a personal trainer, and lived in more than a dozen different apartments. I lived my life to the fullest (or at least what I thought that was). I became shallow, egotistical, and downright arrogant. And I didn’t give a shit about it. I was living for me and only me. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and never payed any attention to my future.
I also had the most impactful experience I’ve ever had in 1997. I was introduced to a company called LifeSpring, which was a personal growth company who ran seminars and trainings. It didn’t hold much interest for me until I started seeing huge changes in my friends who had gone through it.
Over the course of 6 months, I went through the Basic, Advanced, and Leadership training programs and got the education of a lifetime. The trainings were designed to break down all the self imposed walls we have and allowed us see just how powerful we truly are.
And I did. I broke free from my ego, I spoke in front of crowds, I cried in the arms of another man, and I learned an incredible amount about myself. I forgave, I loved, and I became a better person. I radiated success and love and I received it it return. Things just seemed to fall in my favor all the time and I felt like I could accomplish anything.
It was the most empowered I have ever felt. And it lasted for several years, but the grind of life slowly crept back and I soon found myself forgetting all that I had learned and became the “old” Steve.
It was in 1999 that I also met my future wife.
2001 (The Realization Year)
I’m working at the Hard Rock Cafe in Denver, living the good life. I’ve got a sweet apartment overlooking the city, a bunch of drinking buddies, and I’m loving life.
Then I turn 30. Oh shit!
I have some type of epiphany and realize that I’m on the fast track to being the creepy 60 year old waiter and decide to make a career change. I decide for no particular reason that I am going to be a high powered stock broker. Given my history as uhh.. nothing, I have little chance of succeeding in that business.
Regardless, I decide that that’s how it’s going to be. I leave Denver, move to Maryland (to be with my future wife), and through a long string of fortunate events, I land an interview with a stock broker at First Union Securities.
Despite the fact that I wear an olive green double breasted suit that is too small for me to my interview, I get the job! I shared the whole story in this post if you care to read about it.
2002-Present
What started out as my dream career in finance quickly turned into a daily grind. After my first year in the business, I knew it wasn’t for me. But I wanted to give it a real go. My boss/partner and I were hired away to another firm in 2004, which sucked even worse than the previous job. The hours felt like days and the days like weeks.
I won’t go into too much detail because my whole blog is about this!
Life
Also in 2004, I got married and we soon found ourselves pregnant. What’s happened since could easily be turned into a book. Suffice it to say that life has not been easy and I’ve become accustomed to daily struggle.
I’ve recently started sharing some of the details of what’s happening in my life and relationship right now, but still need to respect my wife’s privacy. I know you understand.
Shedding Light
My hope is that you have a better understanding of where I’ve come from and why I think the way I do. Many of you know I have a problem taking action, setting and realizing goals, and making difficult decisions.
I certainly won’t blame my upbringing for any of this, but of course it has very much shaped who I am today. But all that aside, I am still responsible for making my life what I want it to look like. The past can only hold me back if I allow it to.
Yes, much of my life has sucked, but it doesn’t have to going forward.
And I won’t let it. I can’t…

Danny @ Firepole Marketing
Hi Steve, happy belated Thanksgiving!
I’m still looking forward to our chat – I hope all is well, and I’m looking forward to hearing your updates, and finding the best opportunities and path forward out of it all.
One thing that came to mind as I read your post was the question of how to frame your experiences. In your last post, you mentioned the importance of changing your self-talk, and “narrative of can’t”. What if you reframed your “origin story”?
For example, your first entry reads: “Born with Pneumonia and almost die due to a physician error. My father has to restrain himself from beating the doctor to a pulp. Thus begins a lifetime struggle with adversity.”
What if you saw it like this: “Despite being born with pneumonia and almost dying due to a physician error, I lived, and grew up to be an athlete. My father had to restrain himself from beating the doctor to a bloody pulp – even in my first days, the people who love me were there to stand up for me and protect me.”
Of course, I’m not minimizing the difficulty of any experience you’ve had – you know that I’m rooting for you, and will help you as much as I can. But maybe the change in perspective would be helpful?
Steve
Same to you Danny.
As I was writing this post, I had these same thoughts. But I decided to write how I was feeling versus trying to turn the story into a positive.
I suppose I was trying to get my point across in the most effective way…
It’s a great suggestion though and I appreciate you taking the time to point that out. Looking forward to talking again soon…
Ruth - The Freelance Writing Blog
You know what’s strange….Steve, you seem to get it ‘intellectually’ that you’re not a victim, there is a lot of positive opportunity on the horizon, you won’t make excuses or hold yourself back.
But interestingly (and as Danny has pointed out) that intellectual awareness doesn’t seem to have penetrated your writing on this blog. You still write from the perspective of ‘victim’.
Same thing about your job – it sucks. You hate it. You want to get out. You know you should. Blah blah blah…but you haven’t.
You need to take all of that ‘knowledge’ and emotional awareness that you’ve accumulated in the last year, and turn it into ACTION.
I know you read Farnoosh – she talks about this a lot! You’re going to have to take the risk at some point, in certain areas of your life. You have to be vulnerable if you want to win the prize.
Now…I should qualify my remarks.
I know that you ARE beginning to take action – personally and professionally – which is fabulous and brave. And I really believe that once you are a few more steps into your journey, and you have a plan to get to to the other side, the tone of this blog is going to change radically.
And I can’t wait to read THOSE posts!
Steve
Ruth,
You’re right about me getting it, but I tend to continually get caught up in emotion and revert back to my old ways. I catch myself sometimes and miss it on other occasions.
I feel like I definitely have the know how with regards to taking the appropriate steps, but I am letting some things get in my way of really moving forward. Because my time is so limited, I use it as an excuse to just work on the small things that don’t take up too much time like commenting, emails, Twitter, etc. I end up putting the big things off (like building a business) until a month has passed and I realize I haven’t done anything productive.
I WILL get where I need to be, that I promise you.
Tom Ewer
Wow Steve – what a journey. I applaud you for being so candid.
I love your concept of where the blog will go from here. I can’t wait to see you start taking positive steps, and I’ll be cheering you all the way!
Tom
Steve
Hey Tom,
I’m just trying to be as real as I can (without crossing the line of too personal). Thanks for your continued support, buddy…
Keith
Interesting story bro, you and I were born the same year, graduated the same year, and have had similar struggles too (I was born allergic to milk, tossed around careers, got married in 2004, had a daughter shortly after, divorce was final last Friday, am about to leave my fulltime job to venture on my own again January 1st, etc…).
I like what Danny from Firepole Marketing said up above, same story can read completely different! I am thankful for my struggles and trials in my life, they give me my “testimony” and make me a stronger person.
Use this to your advantage and turn it around to be positive. For example, I was a severe drug addict for years, I am not afraid to tell people about it because I came to a point in my life where I was either going to die or change, I chose to change luckily.
Hang in there dude….
Steve
Hey dude,
Wow, I had no idea that you are a former addict. I can’t even imagine having that as part of my life…
I do think that my past has made me a stronger person and I’ve been through a lot. Sounds like we have a lot in common.
And congrats for being able to leave your job. What are you going to be doing?
Keith
I am doing my consulting on my own, I picked up enough customers this year to give it a try so I am effective January 1. Most of my money is coming from marketing and web consulting, I also make a residual income from hosting sites I have built for clients, and I have some other sites of my own that make me money.
I told myself if I could get to XXXX amount per month in income I would leave my job and concentrate on my own business, well last month reached my goal and am doing just that.
It has been a tough year of working 90+ hours a week, but I am getting where I want to be, now it is up to me to make it a success….
Steve
Wow Keith, that’s awesome! I haven’t seen much of you for a while and I now see why. I work pretty damn hard but not 90 hours hard! If there’s anything I can do to help to make sure you never have to go back to a job, let me know!
From Desire To Success
Hey Steve,
Just thought I’d add my $.02 as a new reader. I agree with Danny! After reading several of your latest articles, it seems that you’re really focusing on the negatives and really feeling like a victim.
I can completely relate, as I went through this during my hard times, and like many of your readers also had a “tough” life growing up. I didn’t realize it, but I was very bitter about a lot of things, until I realized that none of that meant anything going forward.
I finally realized as Tony Robbins says, “the past does not equal the future.”
I also read a book called “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace D. Wattles (you can find a free copy somewhere several places on line and I’ll be providing one on my blog soon) that changed my life and my thinking.
Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not, it’s a very practical book in many ways. I think you have to stop focusing so much on the past, stop being angry at others and thinking about what could have been. This was the biggest turning point for me, and it changed my life!
Last thing, it all has to do with your perspective. I was having dinner with some friends that came here from another country with nothing…both are very successful now (in general society terms).
If you’ve ever traveled to a third world country, or known anyone that has lived there, you’ll realize that even the poorest of Americans don’t have it so bad, and we still have such great opportunities for success here…just helped me keep things in perspective!
Steve
Hey Tony,
I’m not feeling like a victim but apparently my writing is coming across that way. Over the years, I’ve made plenty of excuses as to why I couldn’t do something or why I wasn’t better off, but I really don’t feel that way now. I know I am in control of my future and regardless of how lousy my childhood was, it means very little in the grand scheme of things.
I definitely believe in the law of attraction and will try to find the book you mentioned. And having perspective is something I rarely think about. Like I’ve mentioned in past posts, I have a kind of sense of entitlement and feel like I’ve earned everything I have. I’m not saying this is a good thing, but it’s how I have felt…
From Desire To Success
Hey Steve,
It did come across like that when I read it…but it could just be my perception. I’m happy to hear you’re not falling into that because I think that will really hold back progress!
I can see that you’re working hard to better yourself, and that you’re making progress. These are very hard things to do consistently, and I admire anyone that continues to work at improving themselves.
If you have a hard time finding the book, send me an email and I will find it for you.
Take care,
Tony
Rohit
A life full of different flavors. It was a very enjoyable Biography of your life. I respect you and your work very much. I hope you will continue with your good works.
Steve
Thanks for stopping by Rohit, I plan to keep on going for sure…..
Abby
I will echo the sentiment of others and say that it is all about perspective, something I know you know. We all have a story–some sadder than others–but it doesn’t mean the future chapters are already set in stone. My background is filled with physical and emotional trauma, but I can’t say I had it any worse than anyone else. In fact, I’m pretty lucky in that I probably had and have it much better.
It’s easy to blame things on the past. The real courage comes when we take responsibility for our own lives–the good and the bad–and make changes, not excuses. It sounds like you’re well on your way.
Steve
Hi Abby,
I completely understand that it’s all about perspective. Even the shittiest of conditions can be looked at positively. My story was not intended to come across as a victim, but rather to share the pain I’ve been through. I do still have bitterness and resentment in my heart and are things I know I need to work on.
And as much as I’ve been working on myself lately, I still find myself blaming people for things that are going wrong in my life. It’s a very hard habit for me to break and if I even stop thinking about it a little, it creeps back in.
Greg
Having followed your blog for a few months now, I know these three things for sure – You want to break free from your job (duh), you want to help other people and you are an amazing writer.
After reading this article, I truly feel like you could accomplish your dreams by writing about your life experiences… Dealing with bullies, living life to the fullest, getting through a tough divorce, going from a scrawny late-bloomer to chick magnet.
How many kids deal with bullies everyday? How many children are going through a divorce right now? How many young men want to get buff to impress girls? Write about any of those subjects and you will absolutely help & inspire people.
You cannot give advice or inspire people to quit their jobs and live their dream life when you have yet to do so (sorry to be so blunt). However, you have a TON of life experiences to draw from (not to mention an amazingly positive attitude) to help people get through similar situations that you HAVE gotten through.
No matter what the topic, I will be the first one to post a link to your book on my Facebook page, and I know you have a legion of followers who will probably do the same.
Steve
Greg,
You are correct with your first 2 points and I appreciate the 3rd (although I don’t really see that).
I have been giving a lot of thought to creating something that would encompass my life story and turn it into something that would be very helpful and inspirational to people. I feel like it could become a very successful idea and I am working on putting it all together.
My goal is to help people pursue their dreams and quit their jobs and I know I have to lead by example first. I’m working on it now and maybe incorporating some of my personal stories like you mentioned will help. I hadn’t really thought of that, but it just might work….
Thanks 🙂
Melissa
Oh man, Nashua… I’m sorry. 😉 (I’m from Epping, NH, originally and currently live in Pepperell, just over the border.) Especially Nashua in the 80’s *shudder*.
I think it would be interesting to see this rewritten from the opposite perspective; instead of focusing on the negative aspects, rework it to the “overcoming adversity” perspectives. Essentially, show folks just how much power the words we choose to use impact our perspectives, and how focusing on the negatives creates a negative patterning, all of which make it harder to get out of the rut one is stuck in. (Or, less tedious to reread, just the highlights.)
Admittedly, I am a dork, and would do that sort of thing myself. 😉 Interesting story, though. Thank you for sharing.
Steve
Melissa,
Nashua was actually an ok place to grow up, but when I go back now, it’s really depressing…Pepperell huh, small world…
Your idea is an interesting one and I could certainly rewrite it, but my question would be “why”? I wrote this based on how I feel about my childhood and if I were to make it all positive, it would lose the authenticity.
It is pretty negative though and I didn’t even realize it at the time I wrote it…
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Paige Burkes
Enough of the pity party! I agree with Abby. Quit using your past to justify your current situation. Quit being such a whiny victim. While your life may suck to you, it really wasn’t that bad.
Question: How are you helping your readers to solve a problem with these kind of posts? I would say that you’re helping others to maintain their victim status.
The reason your life is so “hard” right now is that you’re still resisting the hard changes that you need to make in yourself. You’re still making your problems all about everything around you even though you like to speak otherwise.
I feel like I can say these things because I’ve wasted years of my life doing exactly the same thing. Life sucks when you resist so much.
When you deeply humble yourself, take deep personal responsibility and let the changes happen, you will transform your life and things will get a lot easier.
Until then, you might want to turn on the guest post machine so we can be inspired by others who have achieved what we want to do rather than being dragged through your dirt. Been there, done that.
Steve
Paige,
First off, when I wrote this post, I wasn’t feeling like a victim or sorry for myself. I was just trying to have people feel the pain I went through. I’ve read it again a few times and I can see why you would think this though. Sure, there are still things that I feel are holding me back, but I know that’s just bullshit. It’s all in my head but I struggle with getting past it.
In response to your question, my goal with this post was to share a personal account of my life. This blog has become more and more personal and I have never really shared some important events in my life. I feel like if I am going to create a successful business from what I am doing here, people need to know me. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s how I see it.
I’m not going to lie (and yo know this already) but I am very resistant to making certain changes in my life. I have a ton of excuses, many of which you do not know about (not that it matters), and many of which I am allowing to keep me down.
If I didn’t know you, I would be offended by your last statement. But I know have good intentions and are trying to help me get my head out of my ass. Your point is well taken and I appreciate the harsh honesty…
Harriet
Hi Steve,
Your story is so inspiring, you’ve come up from such struggle and made such a success of your life! Even though you don’t like your job you shouldn’t feel at all like you’ve failed. You’ve got a family and thats the most important thing in the world.
Steve
Harriet,
Nice to see you here again 🙂
I definitely don’t think of myself as a failure. I have failed in many areas of my life, but I know that’s part of growing.
And yes, family is and always will be #1 in my life…
Keshav
Thanks for sharing your story Steve. You’ve had a tough life as a kid. But the amazing thing is that you are taking control of your life now.
Love to see more of your personal journey from now..
Steve
Hey Keshav,
Always good to see you here, my friend. How’s life with you?
Mark@Limitless Profits Review
What a very interesting story. I am very much linked to this kind of story of leaving your daily 9-5 job and making it happen for yourself.
Adrienne
Well Steve, I hope you had a good Thanksgiving holiday and enjoyed some wonderful company and terrific food. I spent mine with family so am trying to get back into the groove of things.
Thanks for sharing with us more about you and your upbringing. I’m glad that you put it all out there and are now ready to write a new chapter to your life. I really have no doubt that you can turn everything around and achieve anything you want.
I know you are taking this time right now to concentrate on you and your marriage so I’ll continue to wish you the very best and just know that we are all 100% behind you my friend. I have no doubt that 2012 will be a life changing year for you.
Thanks again Steve and look forward to your future posts with a new lease on life. 🙂
Steve
Hey Adrienne,
My holiday was good and I hope yours was as well 🙂
With so much going on in my personal life, I feel like I’m at sort of a standstill with all of this stuff. I know 2012 is going to be a HUGE year for me. Bet on it 🙂
Thanks for everything, my friend..
Hector Avellaneda
Sorry I came to comment on this post, late Steve.
It’s always amazing to hear and read the details of what some people have gone through in life. I thought your story is pretty incredible!
You mentioned that you wont blame your life for your struggle with certain things like setting goals, taking action, etc – but the reality is that your life TODAY is shaped by the experiences and mind conditionings you have experienced up to this point
(I know Ive said this before)
You just have to keep working on your mindset my friend!
I definitely have a better idea of where you come form and the things that you;ve experienced in life. Thanks for sharing the details of your story with us Steve!
Steve
Hey Hector,
I know that my past has shaped who I am today but I also know that I can change my thoughts about money, success, failure, etc. if I choose. Obviously this is not just as easy as making a decision and takes work, but I am doing that. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.
Thanks for reading, man!
Jack@TheJackB
I actually finished my college education at UCLA. I have a lot of really good memories there and LA in general, but I am a native.
You are on the move. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. We are young and there is plenty of time to make things happen.
Maria
Hi Steve!
I agree with the previous commenters about the victim attitude. It’s not just that though; it feels like you want other people to reprimand you for the “negatives”.
That was also obvious in the Penelope Trunk “interview”. You accepted the accusation of your blog “failing”.
I never understood why you did that. I see that you have a thriving audience, not a “failing” blog. You got the audience, you are only missing the business side of the blog.
I don’t think you need deep introspection and analyzing your past in order to move forward. You just pick something to start monetizing and start doing it!
You could even start making extra money this week! Without any preparation. The extra money that you make does not have to be related to this blog. You could become a teacher or coach for something, post an ad on craigslist, and start making money immediately.
My point is that you have to stop with reflection and preparation, personality tests, etc. This is just avoidance of reality.
I’m sorry for this comment. I don’t want to appear as if I know what you’ve been thinking better than you do. You are the one who knows your situation the best.
I am excited to follow your journey. Best of luck!
Steve
Hey Maria,
Your comment really struck a chord with me. I can’t blame my past on it, but in some regards I do want people to reprimand me. Maybe it’s a lack of self esteem or maybe it’s a fear of success, I’m not sure. I’m sure there are some deep emotional issues I have to deal with to get over this kind of thinking, but I don’t even know where to start.
I will say that during the Penelope interview, I knew that I was in a no win conversation. If I said that my blog wasn’t a failure, she would have let me have it about why it was. I decided that I didn’t want to get into a pissing contest with her. I think that in terms of where I am right now with my blog, it’s probably more popular that the vast majority of 1 year old blogs and I’m happy with the growth.
My problem is that I am 98% thinker and 2% doer. As much as I say I am going to take action, I find myself falling back into thought mode rapidly. Obviously the solution is to get out of my head and just do it. I’ve got plenty of excuses of why I am not taking action but in all reality, it’s just bullshit. And maybe I am still avoiding reality with all of this. The scary thing is that I think I am going to start losing the interest of my readers if I keep on like this. So given that I plan to turn this into my life’s work, I clearly need to step it up.
And please don’t apologize for the comment, I need to be reminded of these things.
Thanks for taking the time for sharing your thoughts..
Dan Gheesling
Hey Steve – I was told about your blog through Ruth. I have to admit this is the first very serious blog I have ever read. It is interesting to read true insight into someone’s difficult upbringing. I think you story is great, how you have been able to build a life for yourself coming from a very rough childhood, not many people can overcome that. Looking forward to see the future success of your online presence!
Take care,
Dan
Steve
Hey Dan,
Thanks for the visit. Over the past few months, my blog has definitely become more serious because I am trying to make some major changes in my life. I’m trying hard not to become too serious though!
To be honest, my childhood wasn’t all that bad when I look at others lives. There was a lot of pain in my life and I’ve has problems dealing with it over the years, but I’m at a point in my life that if I don’t change, I feel like I’ll give myself a heart attack.
You also have a very interesting story and am eager to hear more about it!
Talk with you soon..
Jens P. Berget
Hi Steve,
This is one of the best posts I’ve read in a very long time. You should become an author, and turn your life into a novel. To me, this was the beginning of an awesome novel.
Keep being personal, this makes a huge difference.
Steve
Hi Jens,
That’s mighty kind of you and I had once entertained the idea of writing a book, specifically an autobiography. That’s a long way off if it ever does happen though. I appreciate the compliment very much 🙂
Les casinos
I hope you will write an autobiography but I also think this is not the right time to do so. I would like you to write that after 5-7 years later from now if everything goes well. You will have some more ingredients for sure to add there within this 5-7 years. 😀
Steve
Les,
Wouldn’t that be something! I have actually considered that but it would be much more interesting (and positive) in a handful of years!