In September, Penelope Trunk called bullshit on me. In our interview, she called me out on a number of issues such as having no goals, avoiding reality, and blogging for the wrong reasons.

In November, Marcus Sheridan called bullshit on me for being all talk and no action and for being way too caught up in my head.

Since that time, I have publicly committed to the following actions:

  • Writing and releasing my first eBook
  • Getting in touch with my faith and serving God
  • Serving my wife
  • Forgiving and apologizing to my brother, whom I haven’t spoken to in 6 years
  • Serving my boss
  • Creating clear, specific, and actionable goals

And here’s what I’ve done:

  • Read the shit out of a dozen books and applied exactly nothing
  • Thought about all the things I want and need to do
  • Dragged my feet with any and all things that resemble forward moving action
  • Thought some more about what I want to do
  • Shut down emotionally (although I do have a legitimate excuse….of course)

Since October, I have been writing all about taking action, creating great things, building businesses, and yet I’ve managed to do none of these things. For two and a half months I’ve been spouting off about being up to “big” things and getting stuff done. And the sad thing is that in my head, I was. But the hard truth is that I haven’t accomplished much more than the bare minimum I needed to get by.

I can’t and won’t blame you if you stop reading now and write me off as being full of shit.

Because I AM full of shit.

I can talk (write) like I have the world by the balls, but in all reality, it’s me who is being held by them. It’s one thing when your readers start calling you out on empty commitments, but when you have to write a post about yourself being full of shit, you know there’s a problem.

In my post, At The Crossroads, I wrote “What does all this mean? Nothing if I continue what I’ve been doing. But that’s not going to happen”, in regards to the “epiphany” I had after the Penelope interview.

But guess what, that did happen. I have done almost nothing in terms of actionable progress on this blog and in my life.

In looking at my last 8 posts, it’s nothing but talk which I have yet to back up. I can see how people are growing tired and frustrated with my song and dance. I am too!

The King of Wishful Thinking

Why have I done nothing? Fear, laziness, wishful thinking, procrastination, external influences, and a hundred other things that are just another way of avoiding action.

In my head, I am working towards things, thinking of all the great things that will come, and planning a brighter future. But it’s all in my head. It means nothing until I do something, even something very small.

One small step per day is all I need to start….

My 2012 Project

My last few posts have mentioned my “Big” project that I plan to launch on January 2. As exciting as it was for me a month ago, the fear of the “A” word is sucking me back into the world of doing nothingness.

My self fulfilling prophecy of being average is rearing its ugly head in the face of my bold new venture and my natural reaction is to withdraw and retreat into my comfort zone.

And to be very honest, I almost scrapped the whole project yesterday. I almost threw in the proverbial towel knowing full well that it would almost certainly spell the end of this blog. My credibility would be all but gone and the respect I’ve built, tarnished irreparably.

The 2 Calls That Saved This Blog

When I woke up yesterday, I was 50% sure I was going to abandon my project and hope for the best. But before I could make such a drastic decision, I called two friend who have been incredibly supportive, although in much different fashions.

My first call was to Danny Iny, who has been helping/coaching me for a few months now and has a significant role of my upcoming project. This man is all action and is all over the Internet. If you Googled “Chilean goat herders” he would probably have a guest post about it! I shared my concerns and he was supportive in whatever decision I made, but also let me know that I would be throwing away a very big opportunity should I choose to terminate my project.

My second call was to my friend Marcus Sheridan, who has been very straight forward with me since we met. His words were much less pleasant to hear as he basically told me that nobody, including him, gives a shit (my word) about what I’m doing here anymore because I’m all talk and no action. And until I actually do something, nobody will care.

It’s a hard thing to hear, but I needed it. He let me know that there was nothing further he could tell me because I already knew it all. I just had to act on it. And unless my posts started with “I did xyz today“, nobody is going to care.

Marcus told me straight up that he has lost interest in reading my blog because it’s all the same talk. He even went so far as to tell me that I would not take any action after our call.

This wasn’t a challenge nor was it intended to motivate me. It was just his version of truth based on my results. I realized that I don’t need to prove anything to him or to anyone else, it’s about proving it to myself.

So I had to decide what to do…

And I made my choice.  And I chose action.

Action

Instead of thinking about all the things I want to do and then writing about them again, I just did one. I did the one that I least wanted to do and that was call my estranged brother in Arizona. We had a falling out 6 years ago which almost came to blows one winter night in New Hampshire and we haven’t spoken since.

He has never met his two nieces. He has never even spoken to them. It’s really sad and it’s my fault. I could have called him sooner. I could have made an effort. I could have forgiven him. But I didn’t.

So I called him last night. And as ready as I was to talk with him and apologize for all the years I was a lousy brother, he didn’t answer.

Maybe he wasn’t ready to talk with me. Maybe he has no interest in speaking to me. Or maybe he was just out. In any case, I look forward to sharing our conversation when it happens.

Today

The first thing I did this morning was get in touch with my web designer to discuss all the changes I want made to my blog prior to my January 2 launch. And there are quite a few. Action.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, unless you’re just going to tell me that I’m being too hard on myself. Because I’m not.

Here’s to action in 2012…

 

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