The Lost Art Of Giving
Mar

This happened to me the other day. I was taking a walk around the downtown area where my office is located and noticed a man searching for change in his pockets to pay a parking meter. When I noticed that he didn’t seem to have any change, I decided to help him out.
I just happened to have three quarters in my pocket and as I approached him, he seemed leery. I quickly extended my hand to offer him the quarters and the look I received was priceless.
He was completely caught off guard by my gesture and looked like he was in a bit of shock. I can imagine him thinking “why is this guy giving me money’?
Once he realized that I was just trying to genuinely help him out, he gave me one of the most sincere “thank you’s” I’ve ever received.
As I walked off, I felt incredible. Yea, it was only 75 cents, but I had made a difference in his life, even if only for a moment. It’s times like these that you realize what life is all about. It’s not about all the stuff you have or all the money you can make, it’s about what you can do for others.
The Power Of Unconditional Giving
When we help someone unconditionally, we tend to feel our best. There is something very powerful about this feeling and its ability to change our lives. Can you remember the last time you did something that truly impacted someones life for the better? How did you feel afterwards? I’ll bet you felt incredible!
It’s during these times that I think we are able to create our best life. Our creativity seems to flow, our outlook on life immediately improves, and life seems to be ours for the moment.
Personally, my posts seem to turn out better, my energy level goes up significantly, and things just seem to fall into place when I am feeling this way. Did anything physically change? No. It was my mindset and attitude towards life that changed and it made all the difference.
I was inspired simply by helping another.
We don’t need to cure cancer or feed all the starving kids in Ethiopia to make a difference in the world. We can do it one small token of caring at a time.
Unfortunately, our society has a “what’s in it for me” mentality and it sucks. If people could just get past their own selfishness for a few moments, they might be able to dramatically improve their lives as well as the lives of others.
A Selfish World
The world is full of selfishness, what it needs more of is unconditional giving. Forget about what’s in it for you and extend your hand with only the thought of giving.
Maybe it’s because of the industry I have worked in for 9 years, but I have seen enough greed and selfishness to last me a lifetime. I have seen the worst in humanity and it was one of the reasons I left Wachovia Securities years ago.
The shadiness and dishonesty in the brokerage world is sickening and although there were plenty of honest advisers, there were enough scumbags to give me a permanent sour taste in my mouth.
Financial services, like any other business should be about helping the clients, not screwing them out of their hard earned money.
What Can You Do For Another Today?
I’ve been fortunate enough to have people in my life that readily offer help, guidance, and support, all without the interest of anything in return. These selfless gestures have allowed to to see the goodness that resides in people and has inspired me to do the same.
Every day, I ask myself “what can I do today to make one person’s day better”? Sometimes, I don’t have an answer, but if I put a little thought into it, I can usually come up with something.
Here are few examples of small things that can make a difference in someones day (or even life):
- Pay someone a sincere compliment. Surely we can find at least one thing that we like about someone. Let them know what it is.
- Offer a helping hand. Maybe it’s someone who could use assistance taking their groceries out of their cart or someone who is carrying too many things and needs a hand. Don’t just walk right past them. Take a minute and help them. It’s so easy and I guarantee you will feel better about yourself.
- Share the wealth. Even if you are struggling financially like I am, there are plenty of people who have far less. If you have a job, you are better off than millions of others. I’m not suggesting you go out and start handing out $20 bills, but what I am suggesting is that you open your eyes and take a good look around. Help when and where you can, even if it’s a small amount.
- Help a brother out. If your friend needs a lift to the airport at 1am, offer to take them even though it will interfere with your sleep. If a friend needs help moving, offer to help them even though you hate moving.
- Help those in desperate need. This is something I have a deep passion for. There is a relatively large population of homeless people in the downtown district where I work. Each day I see a number of men and women sitting idly on a bench or standing on a street corner. Now, many will say that they brought this on themselves or that they’re just addicts, but honestly, who gives a shit? They’re human beings and regardless of how they ended up freezing in the cold, they are still freezing in the cold. Don’t be like everyone else and ignore them. I’ve actually met a few very interesting and seemingly genuinely nice people on the street. Their stories are amazing and you’ll be surprised at how something like this can impact your life.
These are all things that I have done and I can tell you with all honesty, that it feels awesome when you can help someone in this manner (except driving to that damn airport).
So, ask yourself what you can do to make someones life better today. It will take only a few minutes of your time and it truly is a win-win situation.
Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. What will YOU do today?

Ricky Ferdon
Well said, Steve, thanx for putting it out there. Giving without expectation or even an inkling of desire for notice speaks volumes to the character and enlightenment of the giver. We each carry the mystery of love and goodness within ourselves and cannot help but act upon it. It has to happen. It is a natural outflowing of our energy source. And to release love, in whatever gesture, unconditionally. That is, without conditions or qualifiers. Peace and love!
Steve
Thanks Ricky,
You lost me at outflowing, but I understand what you’re saying 🙂
There is incredible power in unconditional giving and I have seen it first hand many times. Lives are changed by this act every day I think we all need to be more aware of how we can make it a part of our daily lives.
Betty
Very inspirational about the art of giving. I too have observed someone else helping another in a similar situation. I can also relate to someone helping me in a similar matter. You are to be commended for what you did.
Steve
Hi Betty,
I don’t think I should be commended, but it’s an amazing feeling to be on the giving end of it.
Betty
I often think of what can I do for another today. I guess we need to remember it is not always about us. Also, we never know when we might need the help.
Barry
A great reminder that we’re here for reasons other than taking and getting and wanting and collecting and asking and ….. 🙂
Steve
Barry,
Sometimes we need to be reminded of this! Life gets busy and we get caught up in our own stuff. When I am having a bad day (i.e. my boss is working), I walk around all pissed off. I have to force myself to go out and look for ways to make my day better. Often that means talking to someone or finding a way to improve someone’s day. By doing this, I immediately make my day better. win-win.
Gibson Goff
You will forever be ‘rich’. A rich man, leading a rich life. Now those riches are spilling over onto others. Your cup runneth over.
Great to know ya!
Steve
Thank you kind sir! I’m glad I found your post earlier, it truly made my day.
Lisa
Steve:
Where are all the other people like you??! I think “mean” had become such a way of life..or is it cynicism?
People are afraid to do nice things, but you…you are kind in the soul. Much diffrent than just a kind gesture.
An old boss of mine told me this and I hold it true to this day….” Lisa, as long as you always do the right thing, you will be ok.”
And mean and selfish is NEVER the right thing.
Cheers,
Lisa
Steve
Hey Friend!
Don’t get me wrong here, I still am angry and cynical much of the time, but that’s something I am working on.
Although I hate to place blame, I feel that fact that I feel trapped in my job is the cause of it. Of course I can change how I choose to look at things, but I usually choose to be miserable.
I’m working hard on it every day and I know that someday in the not too distant future, I will be FREE!!!
My true calling is being in the service of others, this I know.
Jon
Thanks Steve for the positive post.
Coming from a small town, I was unsure how to respond to people asking for money when I visited bigger cities (Atlanta, Chicago, Seattle, etc.). I wanted to help, but I was discouraged because a) I couldn’t help everybody and b) the cynic in me wondered how my donation would be spent. (Awful of me, I know.)
So, during my last few trips to The Big City, I bought a few $5 Subway (no affiliation) gift cards. If approached for money, I would gladly give them one of the cards. It felt great to help someone get something to eat, and it resolved my cynicism.
And when I ran out of cards, I felt okay saying no, because I felt like I had done what I could for now.
That’s my 2 cents. I might have change coming 🙂
jon
Steve
Jon,
A lot of people assume that a homeless person will spend their donation on booze, drugs, or some other wasteful thing, but we just never know. I think it’s worth the risk.
I’ve given someone my last $10 because I knew he needed it more than me. A lot of people disagree with giving away money (especially to panhandlers), but it’s only money. Twenty bucks can make a huge difference to someone who has nothing. So we have to go without our Starbucks for a few days, so what?
I could go on all night about this, but I’ll let it go. Thanks for your comment.
David
I think everyone loses the art of giving at some point in their life. When I was a kid, I shared toys, food, etc with others and got value out of it. As I grew older and started to associate things with money I became a less generous person.
I’ve been on the path to regain the art of giving and some of the things in this post should help!
Funny you posted this article this week. I am going to start a “Law of Giving and Receiving 30 Day Challenge” on my blog soon. I am going to lay out a bunch of ways to increase giving and receiving in my life and track my progress over 30 days as I implement the plan.
Gibson Goff
The 30 Day Challenge sounds like a great idea. Please keep us advised. I’m in.
Steve
Gibson,
Sounds good. I will post the update at the end of March.
Steve
David,
As we get older, we lose that childhood innocence. It’s that innocence that allows a child to share their favorite toy, hug strangers, and love things unconditionally.
Then the real world hits us when we’re older and we see all the greed and selfishness around us. It sounds like you are trying to do some good things and I’m looking forward to reading about your challenge.
David
Yes, as we grow up we become aware of the idea that resources are limited and it can affect our ability to give and receive.
Here is my Law of Giving and Receiving “Experiment” if anyone is interested – http://letgoandflow.com/post/testing-law-giving-and-receiving-30-day-experiment.
I will post updates every week (maybe more often). I hope to show how powerful giving and receiving can be in creating success.
Steve
David,
Your experiment looks like a wonderful way to grow. I think 30 day challenges or experiments can have a huge impact and plan to do more myself.
Eric
I totally agree.. I think the world is going in the shi*er….
I personally give everything away for free on my blog.
I also give money to bums when i see them digging for cans. etc etc makes me feel good to give knowledge and also makes me feel good when i can help someone design a stunning website that would have costed them hundreds or even thousands.
Steve
Eric,
I think you’re right, the world is going in the shitter. There is a lot of bad in this world, but I think if we can focus on the good, our lives will be so much better.
For a long time, I walked around pissed off all the time because I was miserable at my job and felt like I was owed a better life.
I’m all for free content as well and would never monetize it if I didn’t want to leave my day job.
Leah | Smart Goals for 20-somethings
Steve this is my favourite article you’ve written so far!!!
We live in a society where we are constantly thinking “what’s in it for me”. A wise friend of mine told me a year ago to not make a decision based on money. I need to detached myself from dollar amount. I have been since and I have never been happier (keep in mind I choose invest my money in personal growth and not material objects).
As for helping others people remember the gesture, not the dollar amount. Sometimes just putting out the offer is good enough. Tight with money? Giving someone a compliment is always free and it’s a great way to win over difficult people. Hate your job because of someone at work makes your life difficult? Start paying the geniune compliments- you do get more bees with honey.
I definitely believe the more you put out there, the more you get back in return. And being nice is contagious- I bet that guy paid it forward.
Steve
Leah,
Thanks, I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the post!
I can see how making some of your decisions based on things other than money make sense, but what about things that directly involve money? What about shopping, an new car, or investments?
I agree that giving doesn’t need to be in the form of money. We can enrich others lives in so many different ways.
I’ve seen it happen so many times, when we give unconditionally, we end up receiving far more in return.It’s a great way to live!
James M
I’m not in the position to be helping people out financially (even 75 cents), but I want to start helping people out more through my blog. If people need assistance in writing something or editing, etc, that’s something I can offer that won’t affect me financially. I’d like to feature individual blogs every month to help build everyone’s traffic levels, and so forth.
The world definitely needs more givers than takers and it all starts by leading the way through one’s own actions.
Gibson Goff
Please don’t take this the wrong way – you could of left the 75 cents part off and just said “I offer”, or “I’m compelled to offer . . .”.
I ONLY point this out because you show what exactly a whole lot of people think they have to do to be generous. That is, give money.
But you can live a generous lifestyle without money, as you are offering, and proving. Your offer of highlighting a blog a month is very generous – you are helping ease a burden or bring riches to the other person. And they may not even know it until they see it in print!
Don’t sell yourself short, Steve. You indeed are a rich man. And I applaud you. Keep up the great work!
Steve
Gibson,
MY post was inspired by the interaction on the street where I gave that man 3 quarters. I thought it necessary to add that to the story. I can see you point about mentioning specific dollar values when discussing charity, but it seemed prudent for my post.
If I had mentioned a $1,000 donation to someone or organization, then I could see where your point is truly valid. Your post about Oprah clearly demonstrates your view on this.
I appreciate your support here as well as your kind words..