The Man Behind The Curtain
Jan

A Lesson From The Bard
Maybe you have felt like this before. I know I have. I’m the type of person who’s driven…but not always in the right direction!
No matter how stressed I get. No matter how busy I make myself doing something important. No matter how much I do…It’s all for nothing. It’s the same with with life (mine…and I suspect, yours). All the drama. All the worrying. All the fear. In the end…it’s all about nothing.
Sometimes I feel like the guy who, having climbed the tall ladder, realizes it has been leaning against the wrong wall.
Two years ago, I decided to move my ladder. I was fed up with the status quo, and I was tired of manifesting a life experience with the same unsatisfactory circumstances, just with different specifics.
I asked myself this very important question…”What makes the difference“?
What makes the difference between the moment when everything shifts and the millions of moments that came before it and the millions that come after it? What is that spark?
A Comedy of Errors
For many years, my life could have been characterized as a comedy of errors. I was seeking passion and purpose, while at the same time, hiding from the power I knew lay within me.
This pattern started early in life for me. The first time I hid was at the age of four or five. I realized I was different; and irrationally, I equated different with “less than”.
Have you ever done that? Have you altered something in yourself to try to “fit in” because you felt like being different meant you were less (intelligent, beautiful, worthy) than someone else? I hid till I was nearly thirty. It was then that I said, “Enough!”
I realized that I am enough. Not less than…not broken. And I left that closet door behind, shedding all the shame and guilt like a winter coat which had outlasted its worth under the summer sun.
In my twenties I hid professionally behind the belief that I needed to hunt down my purpose and passion. I spent years searching for it. I learned that sometimes we search in vain for what it is we believe we desire, not realizing that it is resting in our hands waiting for us to recognize that we have never lost it in the first place.
I found a myriad of ways to hide behind “good” work to avoid facing the fear I had over tackling my truly important–my truly vital–work. Next, I hid behind a career change.
“If only I can escape this horrible toxic work environment, I’ll be able to better pursue my passion,” I thought.
And I did escape. But I found myself trapped in another cage…a gilt one of my own making. It was still a cage, nonetheless.
Then, to escape the cage I had built, I decided to return to the dream…you know the one. The dream you’ve held since childhood, but to which you have never dared to fully commit.
I thought that writing a book would fulfill me. I finished it. I published it. I promoted it. But I was still hiding. Not from the world–I had never been more authentic–but from myself!
The Man Behind the Curtain
Recently, I quit hiding. With the help of an insightful friend, I started to embrace my gifts as an encourager, teacher and leader.
You see, I have always had a knack for giving advice and providing clarity to others, but I also feared pursuing this gift because I feared what other people would say. I wanted respect. I wanted credibility. I wanted integrity
If I committed to talking about spiritual topics and to challenging the status quo, people might discount my gifts as “fluff” and “impractical”. I was terrified that others might judge my talents as worthless, insignificant and less than…
I was looking for respect and credibility and affirmation from every external source, yet refusing to allow the internal affirmation that is essential to building a life of true credibility and power.
“External affirmation and acclaim springs first from the quiet confidence of the power of the soul”
Tweet
The Next Act
As 2011 came to a close, I worked hard to launch a new site. In a way, I’m starting over. Instead of hiding my light, I am augmenting it. I am walking to the center stage of life and I am leaving the shadow land behind.
I’m not sure where this will take me. I’m not sure exactly how it will all play out. It’s a scary thing. Others might judge. They probably will. That’s okay.
That’s why I’m here at End the Grind. I believe in Steve. I believe in myself. Although this is the “next act,” it is most definitely not the final act! So please join us for the journey.
Steve Rice is the owner of True Spiritual Awakening. He is an author and entrepreneur committed to creating a well-lived life and helping others to do the same. You can follow him on twitter or connect on Facebook.

Laura Rupp
Great story and so well articulated. Don’t worry too much about the judgment. When people judge it says more about them than it does about you. It sounds like you are on the right track – that’s great! I’ve found that when you open yourself to the purpose that’s right for you, coming from that voice deep inside, you just can’t turn away from it!
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Thanks so much, Laura. You’ve reminded me of a very important principle in life…that someone else’s opinion has very little to do with me, and most everything to do with them!
The intuitive voice is powerful! Once you start paying attention…look out! 🙂
Jeff @ Digital Nomad Journey
The funny thing is, listening to your intuition never steers your wrong. Hiding from yourself only makes things worse, and I’ve done this as well.
It’s been especially easy for me to give others advice, yet applying the same principles to ourselves can be another story. It’s because, that’s when the hard work comes…taking action on aspects of our life need work.
And taking CONSISTENT action, that’s the hard part.
Good for your Steve breaking out of that, and good luck with your new site.
PS> What’s I’ve learned is everyone always has an opinion, it’s impossible to please everyone. Look at Bill Gates, used to be the world’s richest man, created an empire that changes our daily lives, gave to charities, yet he was still sh** talked!! Go figure.
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
I can really relate to your perspective, Jeff. Often I’ve wondered, “why can’t I get my shit together?” (Especially after giving someone killer advice.
I remember mentoring a young man once, and the sad day when I realized that he’d taken more transformative action in his life than I had and that I could no longer effectively mentor him. (I didn’t have the credibility)
It made me really take a second look.
Thanks for the kind encouragement. I’m going to keep working to clarify my vision and pursue my goals. It’s a great adventure for sure!
Jeff @ Digital Nomad Journey
Really, as I’m still learning, it’s about just taking action every single day and not over-thinking too much.
We can plan for months, and have a great strategy, then never execute consistently, at least that’s been my struggle.
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
You are absolutely right, Jeff. That little step…consistent action is the most difficult part. It’s simple, but not easy!
Great planning is okay, but being able to execute a simple plan effectively is a better skill.
Harriet
Loving all the theatrical references here Steve! Keep on grinding, we all love reading your blog so keep on writing it!
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Appreciate the kind sentiments, Harriet.
Amber-Lee (@girlygrizzly)
Steve,
Nice to meet you, this post was very disconcerting.
It took me so much longer to realize I wasn’t broken or damaged or less. And yes, I can remember being “different” than everyone else.
My blog is about our lives in a very remote (can’t stress word that enough), fly-in only area in the mountains of Alaska.
Living the way and where we do, after awhile it really sinks in, we really are our own worst enemy.
I was mine. I did everything I could (and probably at least 5 of your other readers) dream up to just stop feeling that way, before I realized that a much bigger power than I, was at work and only waiting for me to get a clue.
Reading this post (and adding a few years! ~Not to mention your gift with words!!) it could have been myself writing…
I can’t wait to head over and see what you are writing at your place… I have a feeling I will learn some pretty important lessons. I hope we will become friends!
~Amber-Lee
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Amber-Lee,
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. I’m so fortunate that Steve asked me to participate in this process with him. And I’m glad that you’re along for the journey.
I know he’s planning some great adventures in personal development as the year progresses. It’s going to be difficult to face some of the areas where I need specific work, but I know it will be worthwhile.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I look forward to getting to know you here and over at my place as well.
I’m just getting started there…I’d started another blog, and migrated over to the new site at the beginning of Jan, so keep an eye out for new content. We’ll be posting a regular podcast and other great stuff.
Have a great weekend!
-Steve
Steve
Steve,
I’m the fortunate one here to have you share this journey with me. You’ve got a special gift and I know you have inspired many people. This year will be the year we never forget…
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Totally agree, Steve. As I’ve been considering my goals for the coming year, it’s made me really look at things more clearly and face some things I would rather overlook, but it’s great. So grateful for this process.
Gustavo| Frugal Science
You have guts! Karmic Kappuccino was one if my favorite blogs. I know it had a good bunch of followers so, leaving it doesn’t seem wise. On the other hand, we must discard ALL that is not aligned with our goals so: “So throw off the bowlines and sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails”.
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Gustavo, the KK Blog url has changed, but the spirit of it will live on in the new blog. Many of my readers are finding their way over to the new place, and I’m creating even more tools (like the podcast and audio books) and other things to be even more helpful.
Benny
Steve I look forward to seeing how the journey goes for you this year! The best has yet to come for you I know.
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Benny,
Thanks for the kind encouragement. You have been an inspiration to so many of us over the last year. Your successes have driven us forward to dare to dream what’s possible.
Thanks for what you have done and continue to do for the blogging community (both in and out of your niche).
Paige | Simple Mindfulness
Steve,
We sound a lot alike. I can give great advice to others and sometimes have a hard time following it myself. I’ve also spent most of my life with the “not good enough” programming that I continue to struggle with. I started searching for my passion and purpose when I was about 28. I’m 44 now and have found a variety of things that light my fire. I’m working on how to put them all together or at least juggle a few different ones.
Even though I’ve generally been an over-achiever, I tend to stop myself short of what I’m really capable of. A very perceptive boss once gave me a plaque for my desk that said, “Dare to soar” with a picture of an eagle. It continues to inspire me to be more than the limited box I put myself in.
You’re on the right path now. Dare to soar!!
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Wow…that was really inspiring, Paige. Thanks for the kind words of advice. The inspiration of the plaque from your former boss is spot-on.
The “Dare to Soar” mantra is applicable on many fronts this year. Thanks for joining us for this amazing journey!
Stephanie @ LoveLaughterLight
I feel like I could have written this exact article about me.
Wow!
Steve Rice | True Spiritual Awakening
Wow, Stephanie. That is one of the best compliments anyone has ever paid me online. This is exactly what I go for when I write. I want to connect with the reader.
I appreciate your affirmation. Connect with me at my site and let me know if I can support your journey in any way.
Be sure to keep plugged in to Steve here. He’s got some great things coming down the pike.
Johnavery
Have you altered something in yourself to try to “fit in” because you felt like being different meant you were less (intelligent, beautiful, worthy) than someone else? – yes for a major part in my life i did that and regret doing so.Great article Steve Truly inspiring,hope many can come out of the Curtain and show their faces.