My Shot At Freedom
Apr

This is a guest post from Stella at Bucket360.com
Everyone has one. Would you be able to recognize yours?
I wish I had an amazing story to tell you about how I ended the grind. You know, one of those stories in which I just wake up one morning full of gusto and quit my job. But that didnʼt happen.
The truth of the matter is that while the prospect of ending the grind sounds very exciting, the actual ending of it is not so much. The emotional toll of the entire process often goes by undetected until youʼre outside your former employerʼs office scratching your head wondering what the hell just happened.
I consider myself a pretty brave individual. I have an affinity for jumping out of (and off) of things. Like airplanes and cliffs. But this – ending the grind – was an entirely different matter. Forget about quitting my job, I couldnʼt even bring myself to admit that I didnʼt like it. Talk about denial.
The top 3 excuses I made for staying at my last job:
- Iʼve already invested over $100k and 3 years of my life to get my law degree, so doing anything else besides law was just not an option.
- I had a 6 figure salary working with some of the most talented and amazing people in my field. Professionally speaking, it couldnʼt get any better than this.
- Having a steady job is just what responsible adults do.
The funny thing is, if you asked me several years ago what the biggest challenge I faced in quitting my job was, I wouldʼve pointed to something like reason #1 or #2 above. You know, financial reasons. Because thatʼs what everyone talks about these days when theyʼre making excuses for not living a life they love. In reality, it was reason #3 that was the stumper.
Fear, Not Money, Might Be Holding You Back
In case youʼre wondering, Iʼm not trying to gloss over finances as if itʼs some minute detail in deciding whether you end the grind or not. Itʼs a huge freakin deal. Itʼs important to have a solid exit strategy and a sound plan in place before quitting.
But with that being said, Iʼd venture to say that for most people who are still grinding along, their mentality is actually much more of a roadblock than their wallets are. What I really wanted was to like my job so that I could do what everyone else was doing and live a conventional life.
Itʼs easy to drone in and out of work everyday and let someone else take care of where youʼre going. The tradeoff is that they also took care of your happiness too and usually they didnʼt do such a good job at that.
I tried convincing myself that maybe if I just stayed there long enough I would eventually enjoy what I was doing. But as time went on, I found myself nowhere closer to liking my job and yet I was also getting more and more comfortable – in a bad way.
But then something amazing happened. I got laid off.
Boy did that change everything. The great thing about not having a job is that thereʼs no longer the illusion of security. Your arsenal of excuses? Also gone.
Youʼre on your own and it becomes apparent with every step you take whether what youʼre doing is something thatʼs getting you closer or farther away from the life of your dreams.
In Order To Get What You Want, You Have To Be Willing To Challenge Yourself
I couldʼve easily done what my other laid-off friends were doing and immediately start looking for another job. Instead, I challenged myself to create a life that was truly and authentically mine. Living in mediocrity? No longer an option.
I had a once in a lifetime chance at freedom and I was taking it. I began making a list of all the things I wanted to do in life and started doing them. I spent the better part of the year traveling abroad and visiting places like Lebanon, Syria, and Australia.
When I returned to New York, I began writing, taking classes at my alma mater, and volunteering at my local organizations. So what happens when you start living a more authentic life by doing the things you love? You get more creative and your life becomes juicier.
So far Iʼm in the middle of starting my own content and copy writing business, which Iʼll be launching this summer. Iʼve also managed to combine my love of travel and charity by signing up as a volunteer in Ghana this summer; Iʼll be working at some of the local orphanages and hospitals there.
These things wouldnʼt have been possible had I not made the decision to live a more authentic life.
Ending the grind is a scary process. Sometimes you need a nudge, or if youʼre like me, a big push. But at the end of the day, the real challenge is getting over your mental attitude.
Iʼm not going to lie. Itʼs not easy. I still have my law school loans to repay and not a lot of income to live on. I just do it all within my means. Are there days when I wish I could just go out and buy the latest gadget? Most definitely. But then I think about whatʼs important and all the great experiences Iʼve had to date and thereʼs no doubt in my mind that itʼs all worth it.
If thereʼs one piece of advice I could give to those still grinding, it would be to really sit down and think about whatʼs holding you back from living a life you love. Chances are while money plays a part, itʼs not the real reason. Living an authentic life is scary but thereʼs nothing more rewarding.
See you on the other side. 🙂
Stella Szeto is the author of Bucket 360, a lifestyle blog dedicated to helping others create and lead the life of their dreams. Her motto? Take risks, smash convention, and live happy.
Stella will also be launching a content and copy writing business this summer to help entrepreneurs and small businesses market their goods in a fun, creative, and ethical way. Keep an eye out for it!
You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

AJ Clarke
I am wondering Stella…if your main motivation was to do “your own thing” or to make more money in the long run (or both – that’s my reason). If it is the former, would you still be happy making a bit less then your original 6 figure because you have “ended the grind”?
Stella
Hi there AJ!
My motivation in accepting the job was to learn from one of the most prestigious law firm in the nation *and* to earn the salary that would help pay back my $100k+ law school tuition. Had it been one without the other, I’m not sure what path I would’ve taken. It’s hard to divorce financial issues from life. You just have to get to a point where there’s a nice balance by finding out what matters to you more.
I chose to go in another direction instead of finding a similar job because the salary inspite of the loans was not “worth it” to me. This is all a personal decision but it is definitely one I couldn’t have made had I not had the first hand experience doing something that wasn’t “me”. To be fair, it’s not law per se but the type of job I held. There are many areas of law which I’m sure are fascinating but life is short not to look into other things you’re interested in.
So long answer short, yes I’d be completely happy making less as long as I love what I am doing because then I’m just getting paid to be me. 🙂
AJ Clarke
Cheers! That’s what I wanted to hear 🙂
A lot of people quit their jobs and start their own business or try and make money on line in an effort to make more money (only to make more money). But really it all comes down to the fact that one should do what truly makes them happy!
Stella
Yes, I agree AJ! Happiness is key. Money is not necessarily good or bad. It’s just a means to an end and like everything else it’s just what you make of it. 🙂
Steve
It’s interesting to note that many people would gladly trade a high paying “important” job for a low paying job doing something they love. It took my years working in financial services, being around money, to realize that I am not money motivated. I actually tried over and over to convince myself that I was driven by money, but I’m just not. I wouldn’t stay in my current job for another 10 years if I was making $500,000. I’d rather build my business, make 1/5 of that and be happy.
Richard @ Lifestyle Design Unleashed
Personally I think one of the most common reasons that people *don’t* make the leap is quite simply that they don’t have that push like getting laid off, a relationship break-up, a relative getting sick or whatever.
All of these are terrible things initially but can be the start of something amazing if they shake you out of your “day dream” and make you wonder what you’re doing with your life. It’s funny how the worst experiences can morph into the best – something worth considering if you’re experiencing some tough times right now.
Stella
Richard, you’re absolutely right! Fear holds people back from taking that leap of faith. It’s so easy to make excuses when in reality we’re capable of way more than what we give ourselves credit for. Every experience is an opportunity for something new, exciting, and perhaps even more beautiful. 🙂
Eugene
I’ve actually noticed a common theme among several people that have gone on to pursue bigger and better things. They got laid off! I think Pat Flynn would be the best example I can come up with off the top of my head.
When something like that happens to you you’re pretty much forced to make a decision: continue on the same path or work towards something new.
It’s actually funny because at a certain point I was TRYING to get fired from my job. Then I realized a) it wasn’t the right to do and if you’re going to do work at something you should always put in your best effort, and b) they weren’t going to fire me anyway :).
So now I am going to leave on my own terms (hopefully soon!).
Steve
Eugene,
Pat is a great example of someone who had to make it work for himself after getting layed off. Had he not been laid off, he probably never would have created the awesome resource he has.
Good luck on your plan to become self employed…
Stella
Eugene, congrats for having the courage to do what I didn’t at the time! It’s easier being laid off because you can rationalize that there’s nothing to regret because it’s not as-if another avenue was available to you. In some cases this is true but in others not quite so because there’s always an option in everything even if it’s not one we’re comfortable taking.
Let me know how the process of ending the grind on your terms works out for you, Eugene!
Harriet`
I think my shot at freedom was when I went to university two years ago. I very nearly didn’t go. I’m so glad I did and got out of my home town, it was definatley my shot at freedom!
Stella
Awesome Harriet!
Mirella
As someone who has decided that this is the last year of “proper” employment, and yet still hears those nagging voices of fear in my head, I can totally relate!
You are spot on about the notion of fear.
It is far easier to choose the conventional path, it’s well worn by the many who have loped down that path before.
Then again, if no-one in history had ever chosen a different route, humans wouldn’t have evolved to where we are today.
The way I see it, we’re creating a revolution and an evolution, all at the same time 🙂
Stella
I’m really liking that Mirella! Revolution of an evolution. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I think we’re at a point where (very loosely speaking) our basic need are met and we’re shifting into a higher state of consciousness. It’s always a struggle between this creativity and the lizard brain. 🙂
Keshav
“See you on the other side” – What an awesome line! Loved your post stella and thanks steve for introducing her.
Stella
Thanks Keshav! Pleasure to meet you!