Show Me The Money
Feb

No, this post is not about how I am going to sell you some incredible eBook or how I plan to make a million dollars online in the next few years. No, this is about something much different.
I actually received a comment on my blog from Leah at Smart-Goals-For-Success.com suggesting that I write a post about how to help your spouse become more supportive of your addiction commitment to blogging when you have a full-time job.
The world of Internet marketing and blogging is a mystery to most and trying to teach someone who is unfamiliar with it is a daunting task. When you have a spouse that does not understand your world, it makes your job as a blogger that much harder.
The Black Hole Of Blogging
The black hole I’m referring to is when we become so focused on what we’re doing that the world around us starts to melt away. All we hear is the tapping of our keyboard keys and everything else is just gone. It’s just us and the computer.
Since I started this blog in October 2010, I have been consumed by it. Every chance I get throughout the day is spent writing articles or guest posts, Twittering, leaving comments, answering emails, or marketing.
I spend lunch breaks at the library writing, I respond to comments during free periods during my day, and I spend my nights in front of the computer. I’m not saying this is anything extraordinary, because we all do what we gotta do to make things happen for ourselves.
Yes it’s safe to say that I have gone all-in with my blog and have committed myself completely to it. If you have really found your passion in life, then you know what I’m talking about here. We will do anything and everything to realize our dream.
However, there are a number of challenges a blogger will face during their journey and I certainly have my share. However, my biggest obstacle is not marketing, traffic, or generating income. It’s helping my wife understand what it is I’m doing here and how it’s going to produce a sustainable income.
Spending all your time building something that nobody else sees is difficult task. When the one person we need to be a part of our experience does not understand our world, it’s frustrating. When most people hear terms like affiliate marketing, autoresponder, and HTML, they just glaze over.
We really want people to know what we’re talking about because that’s the language that we speak. Unfortunately, if your spouse is one of these people, you will have an uphill battle trying to get them up to speed.
Why Your Spouse Needs To Be Your Biggest Supporter
A married person knows all too well how much influence their spouse can have over their life and how important it is to have them on the same page as you with certain things.
This is incredibly important for a blogger, especially a new blogger. Unless you are out of touch with reality or have done absolutely no research on it, you will find that blogging as a business is about as easy as keeping Tiger Woods out of a Las Vegas strip club.
Blogging with the goal of creating a long-term profitable business is a long and challenging path. Going into it with an expectation of anything less is a huge mistake.
I found out quickly just how hard this was going to be. I literally spend ALL my free time working on my blog and always feel two steps behind. There are just too many things to do every day and never enough time.
The attrition rate for bloggers is extremely high for this reason. It’s not even close to being an easy way to make a living.
A spouse that is either unsupportive or doesn’t understand what you’re doing can be detrimental to your success.
I was listening to an interview with Srini from BlogCastFM and David Crandall from Heroic Destiny the other day. David mentioned that when he told his wife that he was planning to quit his 6-figure a year job to become a blogger, she was immediately on board and behind the idea 100%. And he has kids!
SAY WHAT!!
Of course this is not always going to be that case, but we would stand a much better chance of success if we had the unconditional support of our spouses or significant others.
Show Me The Money
So, how do we get our spouses on board with the fact that we are going to be spending the next 2 to 3 years working our asses off day and night for little or no money? Let me rephrase that-how can we get them to understand that we are pursuing our true passion and the rewards will be well worth our time commitment at some point in the not too distant future?
There are a few ways to achieve this:
- Take the time to explain the process of Internet marketing, driving traffic and gaining readers, building an email list, and the strategies behind monetizing your blog.Yea, this conversation will usually last just about long enough for them to start thinking about the other 100 things that they would rather be doing right now.
- Have them start their own blog. Blogging is fun and I think if they can get over the fear of trying it, they might actually love doing it. If they can start writing about something they enjoy, then they might see what online sharing is all about. Have them start a free WordPress or Blogger blog to test the waters. Having another blogger in the house would be awesome! Being able to talk shop with your spouse would be a huge benefit!
- Show them proof that normal people are actually making money doing this. Too many people think everything online is a scam. When you tell them that Yaro Starak is making $10,000 or $15,000 a month and works only a few hours each week, they think you are full of shit. Well, show them. He, like so may other legitimate online entrepreneurs, is a regular person who just so happens to make a great living online. It CAN be done.
- SHOW THEM THE MONEY. This is when your spouse is never going to buy into your dream of becoming a full-time blogger until you show some tangible results. And by tangible results, I don’t mean the dark bags under your eyes from lack of sleep, I mean cold, hard cash money.
The bottom line is that we need to do our best to get our spouses on the same page as us with what we are doing. For example, if my wife spent hours every day working on Sudoku puzzles (she doesn’t), I would think it was an incredible waste of time.
However, if she explained that it helped sharpen her mind and worked on her concentration skills because she wanted to go back to school to get her nursing degree, it would make much more sense and I would support her.
It’s the same thing with blogging. Many people just don’t get it. If your spouse happens to be one of these people, then we need to help them get it!

Dino Dogan
Yup…this is a toughie. There is also this crazy idea that a man will do what a man will do and the wife is supportive no matter what.
If on the other hand, the relationship you have with your wife is the one where you explain yourself for everything you do, then you’ll have to explain this as well. (and when I say “you” I really mean “we”.)
I think the order is important too. Does she get on board and THEN you explain? Thats the way it ought to be….or
Do you explain first? In which case, she’ll never be on board because no amount of rational explanation will change the fact that the your wife doesnt trust you to take care of her which is why she’s fearful to begin with.
Damn Im going on and on this morning :-p
Well, I for one am glad you started your blog and I support you 100%
Steve
Dino,
Wife supportive no matter what?? That is a crazy idea! If we were living in the 50’s, maybe. Today it’s more like “you’re an idiot, what are you doing”…
I would love it if she was into what I am doing here, but it’s just not in the carsd. We each have our own deals and this isn’t something she will ever take an interest in.
Thanks for your support here. Are you married or is your dog your support system? 🙂
Leah | Smart Goals for 20-somethings
Wohoo! I’m so flattered that you referred to me in this post. Thanks Steve. I’m sure most of us can admit we were all as skeptical as your wife at one time. Professional athletes, singers, dances, famous authors all had to make personal sacrifices to be the best in their field. Why is blogging any different?
Of course life is easier when you have a partner/family/friends that are supportive. And I’m sure she is… you’re still married, right?
Steve
Leah,
My pleasure! It was you idea that got me writing (actually I should be upset becasue I started writing last night at 9pm when I read your comment and stayed up until midnight)!!
I know she wants to believe in what I’m doing but it’s hard becasue there is no proof that this will ever pan out. Gotta show some results….
Jeremy Jesenovec
Good points Steve. Like you, I’m 39, married and have a full-time job. But we have 4 kids. And we homeschool them all! I’ve been at my job 15 years and have seen highs and lows. During all the low points, my wife has supported one crazy adventure after another of mine. She is my rock and she knows that I would not do anything to endanger the family’s well being. That being said, I am sure your wife knows the same about you. In addition to my full time job, that which I rotate every four weeks to each of the three shifts, I have started another venture and will soon begin a blog to go with it. I have subscribed to 140 different blogs including yours and have learned a lot. The only difference is, I plan on staying in my other job until I retire in 6 years. But just as you suggested, my wife will also soon be starting a blog of her own. I look forward to it.
Jeremy Jesenovec
Steve
Jeremy,
That’s awesome that your wife is behind you, it really can make a world of difference. I also need to put my family first and have been doing that for years. That’s why I work my crappy 9-5, have personal training clients, and take odd jobs here and there to make extra money. It just would be sooooo great to actually love (or even like) what I do for a living.
Good for you for having so much going on and still holding it together. Retire in 6 years??…so jealous 🙂
Aaron Crowder
Trying to blog without the support of your loved ones can definitely be tough…I’m just glad my fiancée supports what I do.
In addition to having a full time job as a web developer I’ve been working hard to get a blog or two off the ground. This has meant a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of time spent on it in the evenings.
I’ve found that my fiancée supports me more in blogging when I can include her in it. We started a blog together for instance. One where we post about our life, and our adventures. She’s even learning to code (Ruby, then rails).
I think that’s a big thing: include her / him in what you’re doing and your spouse will be WAY more supportive.
Steve
Aaron,
That’s great that she not only supports you, but has joined in as well! Not gonna happen here, but I’m sure there are many people who could talk their spouses into giving it a try. You never know, they might end up getting hooked on it as well! Wouldn’t that be nice 🙂
Then again, you would have to fight over who gets the computer after the kids are asleep….
Aaron Crowder
Oh thats easy, just get two computers 😉
But I feel for you. It’s hard when you don’t get the support you’re looking for. Hang in there!
Steve
Thanks Aaron. See you around..
Harriet`
Thats really nice what you’ve written there about why a spouse must be your best supporter. I’m not married and don’t plan on it for many many years (!!!) but I like the idea ofwhat you’ve said there. You seem like a really nice guy, I hope everything works out for you and that your blog carries on being succesful!
Steve
Harriet,
I appreciate your support, it actually really helps to have people like you in my corner. 🙂
Gibson Goff
I have to raise my hand and testify – I too feel the wrath of non-support. I’ve been able to buffer it a lot however. So what was very, very difficult in the early stages is now just difficult. Here’s what I did:
*Made sure I mentioned every little success – she now knows it’s at least moving forward.
*Mentioned the ‘big names’ that have associated with me. She recognizes the name, I have validity.
*Relatives have bragged about my successes to other relatives. This really took the focus off me, and made the writing gig ‘legit’, and ‘plausible’.
Frequent, positive and directional communication is my tip. It’s important in a marriage. Just focus the communication to your new gig.
Wishing you all the best, Steve. I admire your work and look forward to the updates.
Steve
Gibson,
Thanks for the tips. I think it’s going to take a consistent showing of quantifiable results to get her on board.
That’s ok though, I’m ready for the challenge!
Keshav
I’m extremely lucky steve in that. My fiancée loves my writing and in fact she is my biggest fan. No wonder I can’t wait to marry her.
Here is a guest post I wrote about her and the importance of your partner for your blog. Maybe you can share that.
http://ollinmorales.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/my-biggest-fan-the-role-of-a-partner-in-a-writers-life/
Also I write posts or poems for her and with her right in the middle. She adores that. You could try creating posts or a blog with a few posts dedicated to her or your family.
Steve
Keshav,
Good for you, my friend. I am glad to hear it.
I’m sure adding something on my blog about her (in a positive way) would be a well received. Now, why didn’t I think of that??
Thanks
Kim
Haha, millions of women and one man are scrapbooking. I love it! This is a great post. I spend ALL of my time in the evening working on my blog. For proof, read my valentine’s day love letter (posted on my blog) from my hubby where he says he sent me an email instead of a hand-written letter because it incorporates one of the things I love most- my computer! He always asks if I’m married to my computer instead of him and I always tell him that he’ll be thanking me someday when I’m bringing in money while we travel the world (can that day get here, btw)?
Steve
Thanks Kim,
I know what it’s like to be tied to the computer, believe me.
I would love to see you make the big $ from your blog and be able to continue your travels indefinitely.
I am so hoping that neither one of you ever has to go back to a 9 to 5…
Keith
Most of the people I interact with offline think I make “porn sites” or something, or they refer to it as that “online thing”… It is really hard to explain to people, and having an understanding partner is a must. It is also important that we as internet marketers try to explain things to them so they understand….
Ultimately though, show them the money is right!
Steve
Keith,
Yea, I haven’t been the best at explaining the wonderful world of blogging to my wife. To an outsider, I’m sure it makes little sense. I had no idea what really was involved before I started this blog.
There are a massive amount of things that we as bloggers need to do if we are ever going to earn a living from them. Maybe if you started writing posts more frequently, I would be able to start making some $. 🙂
Keith
The problem is, if I started writing more articles, my income would drop because I would not be doing the things that actually make me money LOL…. sorry.
Steve
Keith,
I don’t know how you can be so selfish….:)
Anne-Marie
Thanks 🙂