Taking One Step Back And Ten Steps Forward
Dec

It’s become painfully clear that I am spending far too much time thinking about my life, my business, and just about every other damn thing possible and not doing much about it. This is not the way to improve my situation or build a business.
Obviously.
So it has to change. Period.
The Fear Of Change
If it isn’t obvious to everyone who reads this blog, I fear change. I have stayed in my comfort zone far too long and although I like to fool myself sometimes into thinking I’m breaking out, I’m really not.
Sure, starting a Podcast, creating a mastermind group, and sharing personal details about my life and struggles was new and uncomfortable, but it wasn’t really getting me out of my comfort zone.
When I was going through the LifeSpring personal growth workshops years ago, the instructors would send us out to perform “stretches”. A stretch was some act that put you WAY outside your comfort zone. And it was one of the most uncomfortable and painful things for people (including me) to do.
But that’s where the growth is. Way out there!
For example, at the time of the workshop in 1997, I was known by most as overly arrogant, narcissistic, and conceited. That was my deal. So, for one of my stretches, my coach wanted to teach me a lesson in humility and vanity. I was asked told to dress as a homeless person and beg for change on a very busy street corner for 4 hours.
To push myself out of my comfort zone, I was asked to approach strangers in the street and begin discussing something I was very uncomfortable with, religion. I was then asked to walk into a McDonald’s restaurant during lunch hour, stand on a table and begin preaching from the Bible. I had to circle the restaurant for almost an hour before I built the courage to go in.
And the most difficult exercise was when I was asked to walk through a busy shopping mall, hand in hand with another member of my class. Also male. We were told to dress in very flamboyant clothing with the intention of drawing stares. And that we did!
At that point in my life, I cared very much about what people thought about me and was horrified when some friends saw me and ducked around the corner as not to be seen.
And even thought neither of us was gay, that didn’t matter. Everyone clearly thought we were and it was so hard not to turn and run out. But then something odd happened. I let go and stopped caring. It was an incredibly empowering feeling and I truly felt free at that moment.
It sounds silly now, but when you are pushed so far out of your comfort zone that you feel physically ill, you know there is a tremendous amount of personal growth at stake. Whether your fear is public speaking, fear of criticism, or whatever, when you take deliberate action on getting past them, it’s an incredibly inspiring feeling.
Life Without Walls
What can we accomplish if we didn’t care what others thought? What would be possible if we broke down our walls? How would our lives be different if we pushed our boundaries to their limits?
I think about that time in my life as some of the best I’ve ever spent. I learned more about myself that I thought possible. Literally I didn’t think I was capable of such personal growth.
The reason this is so significant right now is because I am going through a great deal of personal difficulty and personal growth. Now is the time for me to recreate myself and become the person I need to be.
And none of this is possible without action.
A Little Less Conversation
I’ve talked myself silly on this blog and haven’t done a lot in the way of acting on it. I’ve received hundreds of comments and emails offering advice on how to take action, ways to make money, and ideas for generating business.
And it’s finally time to do it.
But before I get to what this post is all about, I want to share what’s going on with my side projects right now.
Personal Training
This has been going well. My boot camp class is still going strong and I’ve decided to start my morning boot camp program in January instead of December. I hope to add an additional$500-$700 per month to my income with this second boot camp. Now it’s time to market it like crazy!
I also contacted an old client of mine who I trained for 2 years, who may start back up training again. I’ll write a post about her sometime because she is amazing. To give you a brief history, she’s in her mid fifties and has been blind since age three. But she has one of the most positive attitudes I’ve ever come across. She’s the training director for a non profit organization in D.C. andΒ travels all over the world, goes to concerts all the time, and lives her life to the fullest. She also never complains-even when I’m torturing her during our training sessions!
Fiverr
My Fiverr gigs have been doing better and I’ve sold a handful so far. The feedback I’ve received has been very good, so I know I’m providing value! I have not really been promoting it and it seems like my gigs are kinda lost in Fiverr limbo. I do plan to add video to them, which should increase their visibility. And feel free to buy one if you need help with something π
Here they are:
- Blog Critique
- 21 day accountability partner
- Useful ideas on how to land an interview with important and successful people
My Niche Site
I love the idea of building niche sites. I love the idea of creating a stream of passive income. And I love the idea of diversifying my income via different avenues. But I don’t love it enough to follow through with getting one totally done. I launched my site weeks ago and although it is live, I have yet to add more than a few articles or monetize it.
It comes down to time management with this one and without setting up a specified time to write these articles, build back links and all the other things associated with this business model, it can’t and won’t work. But I am definitely going to pursue it and I have a number of keywords ready for new sites.
My eBooks
My new free eBook, 20 Real Life Cubicle Escape Stories, is done. It’s been done for almost 2 weeks. My web guy is having some technical issues getting it all together for the widget he built. It should be up very soon though.
And today was the day I was supposed to launch my eBook about surviving your day job. I publicly committed to releasing my first ever product in my post, At The Crossroads, and the day has come….
Taking One Step Back And Ten Steps Forward
Over the past few months, I’ve eluded to a big project that I’m working on, and which I plan to disclose here soon. It’s something that I find very meaningful and will impact my life and the lives of many others as well.
It’s something I have been thinking about a great deal and with a little nudging from a friend, I’ve decided to go ahead with it. So this is where I will be focusing most of my energy for the next month and plan to introduce it publicly in January. That being said, I have decided to take a step back from this and not release my eBook right now.
I’m not giving up on it, I just don’t think it fits into my vision for this blog at the moment.
I can hear the groans of disappointment now :), but I believe what I’m working on will be of much more value to you.
I could certainly finish the eBook and sell it, but I keep asking myself why?
- Is it to make a few bucks?
- Is it just to finally produce something?
- Will it change people’s lives?
When I answered these questions, I didn’t like the answers. So instead of spending any more time on this right now, I am investing my time of something that I believe will offer 100x the value. This is my big step forward into action….
January 2. D-Day
As of right now, I plan to officially roll out the specifics of my project on January 2, 2012. This is a far cry from just another eBook and my hope is that it’s something that will be life changing for you and me.
I am also working with a seasoned veteran in the Internet marketing space and someone who has become a coach, mentor, and friend. So the good news is that if I screw it up, he will be there to help me fix it!
I’m looking forward to 2012 in a BIG way and hope you’ll join me for the ride….

Tom Ewer
Exciting news Steve – sounds like your plans are really starting to take shape. Not only that, and perhaps most importantly, you seem to have a great idea as to what you want to achieve with this blog (not something you could have said a couple of months ago, right?).
Keep going! π
Tom
Steve
Hey Tom,
Things are definitely starting to take shape here. I’m excited about 2012 and I think it’s going to be a big year for me (and my readers)!!
From Desire to Success
Steve,
Thanks for the inspiring post! I know you got beat up a little on your last one, but it’d definitely paid off!
Sometimes you just gotta say “that’s enough,” change your thinking and start taking action…which is exactly what you’re doing!
I like to say “great things begin with great desires.” If you want something/anything bad enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen.
We’re all afraid of change, but if you want it bad enough you’ll do anything, including holding your guy friend’s hand in the mall lol (those were some crazy ways to get you out of your comfort zone hehe).
Thanks again for the post! I’m excited to see your new project and learn from you! (I’m ordering one of your fiverr services for that reason!).
Take care,
Tony
Steve
Hey Tony,
I don’t mind taking a beating here as long as it’s beneficial. I’ve come to learn that I can’t please everyone and I’ve stopped trying.
I no longer want to change my life, I need to! My upcoming project is scary because it’s new and there are a lot of things that can go wrong. Doesn’t matter though because this is something that I have to do.
And thanks for the Fiver gig, I appreciate it!!
From Desire to Success
Steve, that’s what it’s all about!
As Bill Cosby says, ” In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
When I started to invent my product, I was terrified. I knew nothing at all about inventing, patents, manufacturing, and I was broke. But I pushed through, made the product, got my patent and the fear is gone!
One last thing I thought I’d share…I saw this post yesterday by author Kevin Hall:
Those with passion do; those without passion try. When I say, βI’ll tryβ, I build in an excuse. If I start but don`t finish, I can always say, βWell, I tried,β but if I say, βI’ll do,β I commit to finish no matter what. As my friend and mentor John C. Maxwell has taught me, “The bookends of success are starting and finishing.”
Sounds like you’ve got it figured out!
Thanks for helping with my blog!
Tony
Jeffrey Trull
You’ve got me interested, Steve. Sounds like you really have come a long way in the past couple of months. You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it, too.
Steve
Jeffrey,
I have spent a ton of time learning about myself in the last few months. I’m pumped about what 2012 is going to bring and I hope you’ll be a part of it!
Greg
I am sorry to hear you decided not to launch your eBook. I think you should reconsider. It seems like you are afraid to fail, ie. that the book will not change peoples lives.
My day job is designing landing pages for A/B testing. A lot of my pages have failed terribly, but some have really kicked butt. We are constantly eliminating low performing design elements and concepts in search of the highest converting landing page possible.
Maybe you should think about your eBook as a test. Launch it and detach yourself from the outcome. Have fun with it. If it fails, big deal! Take some buddies out for a beer and laugh about it, take it as a learning experience and brainstorm what you’ll do differently the next time.
What if you gave away a few chapters for free, and offered the entire book for a fee? I think a lot of people would pay for your Cubicle Escapes book if you gave them a little preview. I definitely would.
Steve
Hi Greg,
I was really on the fence about releasing the book, but it just doesn’t make sense with what I have planned here. I’m only a month out from my new project and this eBook doesn’t really tie into it.
To be very honest, I’m not afraid of failing with the eBook. It’s actually a helpful book and does offer a lot of value, but the timing is off. I most likely will release it in 2012 in conjunction with my project.
Your job definitely gives you a great skill when it comes to Internet marketing! I know almost nothing about split testing but should probably learn..
And as far as the Cubicle Escape eBook, it’s up now and free! If you are already subscribed to my newsletter, let me know and I’ll send you a copy of the eBook..
Ruth - The Freelance Writing Blog
Action! Love it! More…more…more….
Steve
It’s coming Ruth……hold on…..
Adrienne
Wow, those are some things to definitely make you get out of your comfort zone aren’t they? Dressing up like a bum and asking for money. Then the McDonald’s preaching. And to think you did them. I’m impressed Steve.
Sounds like you are on the right road finally. I’m so excited for you and can’t wait to hear what you have in store for us next year.
I say bravo for finally deciding to move through those obstacles that have been holding you back and start taking action. There’s no place left but up my friend.
Congratulations Steve!
~Adrienne
Steve
Adrienne,
Those were some real challenges although looking back it seems pretty silly. I’ll tell you though, those workshops were intense! Talk about getting rid of all the bs and digging deep into who we really are. I’d love to do it again but as far as I know, they don’t teach them anymore.
And yes, I’m on my way up!!!!!
Debbie Beardsley @ European Travelista
God how I hate those comfort zones! You are so correct, sometimes we talk and talk about what to do but don’t take action. Good for you. I’m looking forward to seeing where your action takes you!
Steve
Thanks Debbie π Many of us get caught up in just thinking/talking about taking action but never actually do it. I’m so guilty of this. The good news is that my upcoming project is going to force me to take massive action!
Benny
Great to hear how things are going! No worries on not having the ebook out now. I’m sure it’ll be great when it’s ready on Jan 2.
I definitely feel 2012 is going to be your year. Look forward to talking a year from now and be amazed at how both our years have gone!
Steve
Hey Benny,
My eBook will not be launched on January 2, rather that’s when I am rolling out my project. I may release my eBook at some point in 2012, but not sure yet.
And 2012 is going to be our year, my friend. You had a pretty sweet run this year with your app, but I know next year will blow up for you!
Benny
Sorry about that Steve! I’ve caught a cold and am drugged up here. I look forward to seeing what you have in store!
I had a good run w/ the app, but want to diversify my income. It’s going to be a great 2012!
Mechelle
This is confirmation for me. I’d been working on a project and was asking myself today if I should quit for now.
I’m learning that winners sometimes DO quit.
They quit when they know better things will happen if they do. (Hope that makes sense! ;))
Keep up the great work.
Steve
Mechelle,
Glad to see that you “got it”. I hope you made the right decision for yourself…
Thanks π
Paige | Simple Mindfulness
Glad to hear that things are moving forward! I can’t wait for Jan. 2.
Years ago I was with a great network marketing company and, at their big events, there would always be a series of challenging exercises that we had to do like the ones you did at LifeSpring. As an introvert, it was so painful to face them but once I did them, I had such a great time and felt such an amazing feeling of satisfaction. Doing things like that definitely changes you forever, pushing that comfort zone bigger and bigger. I highly recommend that you do more of them.
Good luck with your next steps!!
Steve
Paige,
Those times were some of the best I ever had because of the amazing growth I experienced. It was no coincidence that things in my life just seemed to fall into place during that period. While I have fallen far into my comfort zone, it it time to start reaching outside it and testing my limits.
Thanks so much for all your support π
Placid
Hi! Steve, HowΒ΄s it going?
I really appreciate your comments about one step back and ten forward, I think that you wait to launch a eBook at 2012 is a great step, stay home, you ever make the best for us :).
I intend buy the eBook, and no matter the launch time.
Have a good luck and a great 2012 for you and your family.
Steve
Hey there Placid,
I will release the book in 2012 and think it’s best that way given my schedule for my upcoming project.
Thanks for your support..
Garrett
Steve —
As always, this was an honest, ‘warts-and-all’ post. I appreciate the notion of Less Talk, More Action especially. It’s easy for all of us to get wrapped up in the planning and talking and meetings and brainstorming, instead of pushing past obstacles and just DOING. We’re all right there with you, buddy. By sharing your struggles (and how you eventually overcome them), you add value to all of our personal narratives. Keep it up.
Steve
Garrett,
Seriously, every day I have to consciously make myself DO something otherwise I would be lost in thought. It’s actually a lot harder that I anticipated. I’ve never been a doer and now that I need to be, it’s really challenging me.
I’m glad you mentioned that this is relevant and helpful to you. One of my comments here mentioned that my writing has become all about me and not about you. The way I see it (after my Penelope interview) is exactly what you said. People can see themselves in my struggle and will be inspired when I make these dramatic life changes.
My whole goal is to help and inspire others and from what I have found through my readers comments and emails is that you want to hear my personal story. If you wanted something else, then I would do what I could to help.
Thanks for sharing..
Stephen Smith
We could all benefit from adopting “a relentless bias toward action” (Scott Belsky – Making Ideas Happen) and I am glad to see that you are leaning more in that direction.
I also have trouble with it, swinging back and forth between thinking and doing, but I would submit that it is important to keep thinking, set aside time to think every day. Just don’t get stuck obsessing.
Thanks for sharing.
Steve
Stephen,
I’m slowly embracing the idea of action over thoughtful inaction, but it’s not easy. Obsessing, that’s another issue I am very guilty of….thanks for the reminder..
Collin
I stopped by to see if I could figure out why your podcast hasn’t been updated since you got beat up by Penelope Trunk. What I’ve discovered after reading a few of your recent posts is that you sure don’t make “ending the grind” sound very inviting.
One problem I’m seeing is that your blog seems to be all about YOU, and not about your readers, customers, or whatever. I’ve skimmed a few posts, and can’t find much that would be of any value to ME.
Your language also seems to leave you an out for everything you say. Here are some examples:
“As of right now, I plan to officially roll out the specifics of my project on January 2, 2012.” When you say “as of right now” what I hear is “I’m not sure I’m really committed.”
“Iβve eluded to a big project that Iβm working on, and which I plan to disclose here soon.” You PLAN to disclose it here SOON? Again, you’re leaving yourself an out so if/when you don’t deliver you don’t have to feel bad about it.
And what’s the story with the fiverr gigs? Do you really expect anyone to pay you $5 to hold them accountable for 21 days when you seem to struggle with holding yourself accountable?
I could give more examples, but I didn’t come here to nail you to the wall. I just wanted to know why you haven’t had a new podcast in over 2 months. I think I figured it out.
Steve
Collin,
First off, the main reason I stopped my Podcasts was because of what happened in my interview with Penelope. If you remember, I was trying to avoid making the interview about me and was (unsuccessfully) trying to steer it back to being about my readers.
When she said that her advice was exactly what people wanted to hear, I didn’t believe her. 330 comments later, I know I was wrong.
People want to hear about a real life struggle and subsequent success story from someone they like and trust. That’s where my story comes in. For the first year, my posts were all about others and given the incredible reaction I received from the interview, I decided that it made more sense to talk about my personal struggles. I’ve had many more personal connections since the interview and I’ve found that people want to be able to resonate with what I am going through. If you can’t find value in that, you obviously aren’t in the same place that I am. But many people are.
As far as committing to my projects, I have set target dates for my launch, but I don’t have a hard date. I have a ton of work to do for the Jan 2 launch and am not 100% sure I can do it all. If you know anything about me or my blog then you know that I am completely committed to making this work. And not just for me, but for my readers.
With my Fiverr gigs, I can see your point, but it’s irrelevant. Just because I used the phrase “as of right now”, doesn’t mean I won’t uphold my end of the bargain when someone pays me. If I were charging $250 an hour for personal coaching on accountability, that’s one thing, but when someone pays me $5 for 21 days of my time, that’s quite another.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts..
Harriet
Hi Steve,
I love the title of this blog! Its very positive, well done on writing such a positive post. Hope you’re celebrating the festive season!
Steve
Harriet,
It’s funny, because the first few titles I cam up with were a bit negative and I told myself that I had to be more positive with them! Thanks for noticing π
Grady Pruitt
I can completely relate to the need to start taking action. I was that way for the longest time with my on-site. It’s when I began taking action that I began to see big-time results. Maybe not big-time compared to any other bloggers out there, but big-time compared to where I was at.
Although I continued to make a posts, last month I took a lot of time off from working on my blog so that I could do NaNoWriMo. As a result, I lost some of the ground that had gained in September and October. But in the last few days, since taking action once again on my site, I have gained back the ground that I had lost.
This is a great time of the year to reflect on what you’ve done in the last year and evaluate your results. Once you’re comfortable with what you have done in the past, you can began to make plans for the future.
Thanks for the great post!
Steve
Hi Grady,
Yea, I’ve pretty much talked myself out and I will definitely start losing readers if I don’t get my ass in gear and DO something!
I’m not familiar with NaNoWriMo. What is it?
Thanks for your support..
Steve
Sounds like you have exciting news coming up. I wouldn’t worry about holding off on the ebook. If you have something that gives more value, you should definitely work on that first. It’s good to take risks and push yourself out of the comfort zone.
Steve
Steve,
My readers have had mixed feelings on my decision to wait to release my eBook. I actually had a record number of people unsubscribe from my newsletter because of it.
I really think that what I am doing in 2012 will be well worth the wait though….
Hector Avellaneda
Nice! Way to go Steve! Looks like your finally starting to act on your ideas and not thinking so much about what can go wrong, but instead how to make things go right!
That’s awesome, man!
By the way – I am diggin the boot camp idea. Keep us posted on the ebook.
Steve
Hey Hector,
Feeling better (most days) and working hard as usual..
Boot camps are going well although I’m not looking forward to getting up at 5am again….
Jonathan
I just stumbled on your blog while looking for an outbound link for an article I wrote today, and I must say I think I was meant to find you. I am currently going through the same situation as you when it comes to wanted a new career, making money online and being free of the cubicle.
Subscribing now. π
Steve
Hey Jonathan,
Glad you found me! Everything happens for a reason so I hope you find something useful here.
Good luck on your journey as well….
Danielle Lynn
Fantastic post Steve,
I always enjoy your transparency about these issues that we all run into (but most of us rarely like to admit.)
I especially enjoyed hearing about your ‘stretches.’ I know I need to step out of my own comfort zone. But I think I’d have too much fun standing on a Mc Donalds table, so that must not be where my boundaries lay.
Definitely gave me a lot to think about.
P.S. I chucked at the idea of you ‘flamboyantly’ walking around the mall with your friend. You are certainly brave. π
Steve
Danielle,
Believe me, it was far from fun standing there! That’s funny that you would actually like it π
Now that I’m older and (hopefully) more mature, I think I could handle the hand holding but much better. At the time though, it was very challenging to get through it…
Good luck on your own “stretches”…
Leanne
Steve,
I have been following you for a while, I love to read your blog because you and I have been on very similar paths. Not so much the upbringing, but, the personal development and growth that has been going on this year.
I told you in comments before that I have been wanting to get out of my career for 5 years. I actually did change jobs 1 year ago. However, what I learned is that I am tired of medical sales and want to move on. A new job did not make me happier.
Don’t get me wrong–I am very grateful for everything this field has done for me and provided for me. Its just that I am done with it now. I make good money (which is hard to replace), so that isn’t the point.
I have spent the past few months working on discovering my passion, identifying my values, taking Meyers-Briggs tests (I’m ENTP) and others to make obvious my strengths.
Deep down I want passive income that I work on my own terms and that is fun to do. My life is good, but complicated, so I don’t want a complicated or demanding business.
I have been down many roads trying to figure out what kind of business to start. It has been painful hitting the same wall over and over again and not getting where I want to be.
I decided yesterday after taking a look, again, at Pat Flynn’s niche site duel to start with that. I am making a list of ideas for niche sites now. (BTW-thank you for turning me on to SPI.) It is simpler to start, and I can actually see myself with a handful of niche sites before I decide what my next adventure is. It would also give me more time for the other areas of my life than a full blown start up business would.
Now is the time for me to take action.
BTW-I have felt rather alone on my personal growth journey. If I talk about it too much to my husband, I freak him out. (And, he is sick of hearing about all my ideas after 5 years). He loves stability, so my going into a crying jag about every 30 days about hating my job doesn’t work so well for him. π He is a great guy and the love of my life, but, after all the changes I have made and not getting any happier, he is rather frustrated with me.
So please keep writing. Even though we have never met or spoken, it is reassuring to find a comrade in the arms of life! I look forward to your next post.
-Leanne
Ryan
Hi Steve,
Congratulations on your e-book man. Mine’s still in the works. I’ve been reading a lot of great advice from Flynn from smartpassiveincome and boy it’s really opened up my eyes. An e-book is a great long term investment for passive income and also niche sites. I really think you are heading in the right direction and all the best with them. I’m going to have to dig into your works soon.
Until next time, all the best and take care!
Steve
Hey Ryan,
Thanks for the congrats but I have yet to release my eBook, unless you’re referring to my new opt in bonus…
Pat from SPI has one of the very best resources online and I’ve learned a ton from him! An eBook can be a great way to earn passive income, but very few make any kind of significant. Too many people think it’s easy to just create a products, put it up for sale, and rake in the cash. It’s far from that easy…
I definitely appreciate you following my journey and you’ve come at a great time as I am getting ready to launch a big project in 2012!