Summer Grilling: BBQ Your Job with a Side of Success
Jul

This is a guest submission by Emelie from Revellish.com
The snooze button on my black alarm clock is worn white because I dread Monday mornings. Just five more minutes… Please… Five more minutes before I drag myself from bliss to boredom.
For five days a week for the last eight years (that’s over 16,600 hours but who’s counting), I’ve spunspunspun in a corporate hamster wheel. The stressgarbage sprayed behind me as the wheel whirred faster… my feet struggled to keep up with the pace of the race.
I wondered as I tossed and turned each night; what would happen if, just for a moment, I stood still? Would the world come crashing down because my projects didn’t meet deadline? Would my boss fly out to California and flog me with a coat hanger?
How would I define myself if not as “an excellent multi-tasker with experience managing cross-functional teams?”
I am sure I’m not the only one who feels completely lost in Corporate America.
After all, feeling burned out is the latest status symbol – it’s right up there with a shiny black luxury sedan, 2.5 automaton children, an upside-down mortgage, and an annual trip to someplace sunburned. At holiday BBQs, we trade swaggerful stories of awful bosses, 60-hour workweeks, and impossible deadlines for all-important projects with acronyms like H.A.C.K. (Help Anonymous Corporate Knuckleheads) and S.N.O.R.E. (Sorry Not Our Real Expertise).
How Did We Get Here?
My journey to burnout is a common one. I became an over-achiever in eighth grade and kept it up through high school. At school, my path to success was prescribed: choose honors classes & get all A’s. It was easy to succeed because I knew exactly what I had to do.
Like most of us, in college I became more balanced. I drank… I traveled abroad and danced through London’s nightclubs, became a DJ, and yearned to go back to my hometown and show them that I wasn’t so geeky after all…
But, instead, I went on to graduate in a degree I didn’t love because I couldn’t figure out which of my 73 passions to pursue, and it all seemed like one big dead-end street anyway. French? Art? What would I ever do with a degree like that?
So I chose something practical and got a nice little lucrative career that left me weeping at night but with a 401K and a tidy monthly commission check. On the outside looking in, I seemed to have it all; a beautiful house, an education, a pretty solid marriage, and a stable “creative” job in marketing.
But, the hamster wheel was starting to spin.
Whose Version Of Success Are We Pursuing?
After leaving the education system, our path to “success” isn’t quite so clear anymore – there are no proven ways to mark our progress… No report cards or final exams… If you’re like me – you end up chasing someone else’s vision of success and feeling emotionally bankrupt in the process.
Yet, going against the grain is terrifying. Not only is it extremely scary, it also threatens our existing friends and relationships because; after all, if we buck the system and end up loving our life, what will we talk about at the next BBQ?? Most people certainly don’t want to hear about our choice of happiness over standardstoicstress because it serves as a wakeup call to those who just want to keep hitting snooze…
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to toss the alarm clock out the window and take charge of my own life. And, if you’re an Ending the Grind regular, I’m willing to bet you’re sick of snoozing through life too.
So, how do we do it?
How do we jump off the hamster wheel without breaking our legs, bank accounts, and relationships?
For me, the answer has been to become an expert juggler. For now.
I am in a dual income family living in San Diego – so while I’d love to tell my boss to “take this job and shove it,” I simply can’t quite do that. Not yet. Not with a mortgage, a toddler, and student loans to pay off.
But, instead of getting frustrated and resentful that my husband isn’t able to support us so I can quit (believe me, I’ve been there too), I decided that I am in charge of my own life.
So, I’m juggling my corporate job while simultaneously working on the side to build an online empire. Luckily I work from home and can weave in and out of tasks like a silkworm.
Yes, it is hard and stressful. My pants are worn out because I’m flying by their seat so much.
Yet, even though I am spread beyond too thin, I’ve never been happier because I’m finally building room in my life for my passion. Because, for the first time, I am deciding what MY picture of success looks like. And, now that I figured out what was missing from my so-called perfect life (creativity), I’ve also found the platform from which my entrepreneurial wings will take off.
You don’t have to leap all at once and trust that a safety net lies below if you fall instead of fly.
Instead, I suggest that you spend some time really digging into what success looks like for you. How will you spend your days? What will your working hours look like? Where will you be? What’s really important to you? Are you willing to let go of certain relationships or material things that aren’t in line with your bigger picture? Are you willing to make some hard choices in order to get where you want to go?
All these questions can be answered while you still collect a paycheck. Set your strategy in motion now so that you aren’t wasting your first few months without a salary with trying to build your business infrastructure.
Once you paint your picture of success, you won’t believe the “coincidences” that will conspire to help you off the ground. Clarity is everything. And then, you can leap.
I’ll see you on the other side; at a different BBQ where we can all talk about the day we ended the grind.
Emelie Rota lost her way and hit burnout in the process of working, getting married, and becoming a mom. When she reignited her creative spark [through sheer will and focused effort], her 10,000-watt love of life came back like she was five years old in a field of butterflies.
Now, Emelie helps others reclaim the creativity they don’t even know they’ve lost. Emelie is a lifestyle artisan and creative catalyst, guiding each client through her Soulectricity Sessions to create the conditions for their best life. Her unique approach to creativity results in clients finding the courage to choose happiness, enjoy life more fully, and see their world through renewed eyes. You’ll find her online at http://www.revellish.com.

BethanyBob (@bethanybob)
I’ll bring the chips and dip!
Emelie Rota
Hi Bethany! I’ll bring the dessert… because ending the grind is sweet sweet sweet =) Thanks for reading!!
Tim Webster
Two things, ‘Whose Version Of Success Are We Pursuing?’ made me smile ear-to-ear. I love hearing this type of stuff from people. Questioning the ‘traditional life’ and demanding more from it. It’s inspiring, thank you!
And the ‘coincidences’ that you talk about, the strange events that present themselves to you as a new opportunity, those really do happen and it’s an awesome feeling when something comes together.
As an example, I have started a local business myself (that will have an online, location-independent side as well) and I’m in the process of acquiring more clients. As I was helping a friend with a favor, he asked me if I’d be interested in helping him with some of the clients at his business (where I worked previously).
Basically, through the connection I had made with him in a seemingly irrelevant previous job, I was presented with an opportunity to accelerate my new company.
It’s really crazy how these ‘coincidences’ show up. Keep your eyes open and capitalize on every opportunity! Sun Tzu said, ‘Opportunities multiply as you seize them’
Emelie Rota
Hi Tim =) I love that you’ve already experienced some of the amazing “coincidences” that begin to happen when you set the wheels in motion for your own vision of success… Isn’t it amazing?!
You never know – what might have seemed completely irrelevant yesterday might take on new significance today.
And, I have never found Sun Tzu’s quote to be more true than right now in my own life… I’ve always loved this quote!
Congratulations on your new venture and best wishes for your success!!
Tim Webster
WIthout getting too woo-woo philosophical (ha!) these coincidences are how I determine if I’m on the right track or not.
When things start ‘falling into place’ and you find that previous skills you’ve learned are somehow related to what you’re now doing – THAT is how you know you’re on the right track.
Not to say that things are easy, but you’re able to overcome the challenges with ‘built-in’ skills (what nay-sayers on the outside might even call ‘luck’, but we know it’s just plain old hard work!)
Emelie Rota
Isn’t it funny how so many people defer to others being “lucky”? I’ve always been considered lucky… but really, it all boils down to hard work, seeing opportunities everywhere, and seizing upon them without a second thought.
But of course, I’m just lucky! =)
I agree that fortuitous “coincidences” are a good sign that we’re on the right track. It’s not that it’s easy… it’s just that outer circumstances are aligning with an inner purpose – which tends to happen when you are guided by purpose and not merely profits.
Meg
I am in corporate San Diego as well. I thought this would be my life and something went off in my head and I thought I can’t do this anymore. I need to travel. I need to find a job where I am not sitting at a deak. It’s not me. SO… I am starting student teaching in the fall and then I am off to travel for a year before I get back in the grind of things and become a teacher for the rest of my life. I appreciate your honesty in this post. I know we have all at one point or another shared these feelings and emotions. I am going to look at the bigger picture from now on. I think that’s great advice. Thanks!
Emelie Rota
Hi Meg!! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment =) Lovely to connect with a fellow San Diegan who’s fighting against corporate drone-dom…
What an exciting plan you’ve got in place!! And cheers to you for taking a risk and going after the lifestyle you really want. After all, YOU are the only person who can create your ideal life… it’s not up to some magical knight in shining armor, a 10% cost of living raise, or a retirement plan. Life is meant to be lived. Now.
Best of luck with Student Teaching and then traveling – it sounds AMAZING!
Sue Ann Gleason
I can soooooo relate to the world of the over achiever. My favorite line (gleaned from a greeting card) is: I used to be driven. Then I pulled over.
I have to practice pulling over every day because I get totally caught up in my passions. For me,the best part of taking charge of my life and saying goodbye to the safe, secure paycheck (however scant, was knowing that from now on, every driven moment in my path goes into my own business, however humble.
As for the barbecue. I’m moving away from the more traditional sauces and spending more time with like minded, creative spirits whose eyes do not glaze over when I talk about my new entrepreneurial world.
There is so much heart and wisdom in this post, I’ll have to savor it for a while. Thank you!
Emelie Rota
“I used to be driven. Then I pulled over.” I LOVE it Sue Ann!!! I think I need to print up some t-shirts with this emblazoned across the front.
It sounds like we have the same BBQ sauce array in our pantries… Best to glaze our dreams in sweet dripping spirit than to glaze over them with mind-numbing idle chatter.
We are definitely soul sisters =)
Much love to you!
Kathleen
Great post! love your writing and the rich metaphors that really describe EXACTLY how I live… “My pants are worn out because I’m flying by their seat so much” Haha!
Its interesting, whether in corporate or not, the dead ends are hit which require ultimate self examination and exploration. Though I have had my own business for years, dissatisfaction began yanking at my heart, causing my once enfired passion to grow cold. The journey to this new pursuit of mine has been YEARS in the making and finally with the support of all the brilliant coaches/minds in the online business scene (including THIS post) pushing me out of my hidden lab, I am about to fly… haha! yes, by the seat of those super worn out holy jeans!
Emelie Rota
Fly, Kathleen!! Our pants are made of tough fabric, right? They can handle the wear and tear =)
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your heart-filled comment love.
It’s true that dissatisfaction and complacency can show up in our own businesses just as they do in the corporate world.
Either way, it’s our job to see the world with fresh eyes, seek inspiration in the everyday, and ignite our own fires. After all, no one else can stoke them for us (literally and figuratively) =)
Fawn Gracey
Emelie, our stories are very paralleled. French? Art? Yes, my two passions in college and went into…Hotel and Restaurant Administration. (Huh?) Eventually I was able to extracate myself and pursue my creative dreams to become a graphic designer. Seven years of corporate work, I’m working on building up on the side, too.
“…feeling burned out is the latest status symbol…” It’s so true! If you have everything handled, what can people say about you? The bigger the problem, the higher the status. LOL Luckily, I’m learning to let go of needing to impress people with my problems and just work my a$$ off to get the life I want for me and my fam.
P.S. I used to live in San Diego…best place in America, don’t ever move! 😉
Emelie Rota
Hi Fawn!
You hit the nail on the head… “The bigger the problem, the higher the status.”
When did burning out become the latest trend? When did the loudest complainer get the spotlight?
Ugh… it’s time to shift the focus to people like you and I – who are working our tails off to live our dreams, and aren’t taking the time to waste words on complaints.
While the whiners can commiserate together and find company in their misery, we’ll be quietly victorious in taking over the world =)
Adam W. Warner
Great article Emelia, I especially love the “…you don’t have to leap all at once…” part.
I’m lucky to love what I do, but I’ll never forget the dissatisfaction I had with a previous employer that sparked me to take the leap. These are great lessons for those needing to feel inspired and shown that there IS a way out!
Emelie Rota
Thanks Adam!!
I’m glad to see that my message resonated with you… And I toast your decision to leave an unsavory situation and seek something more fulfilling! You are indeed fortunate to love what you do, but you took the matter into your own hands to get there!
Everyone has this choice within reach, sometimes we just have to be really resourceful and creative to make it all work.
Amber
Nice work Emelie! I love how honest you are in sharing your story. So inspiring. I needed to remind myself today that I am lucky b/c I do get to spend time every day working on my passion. Sometimes I forget that b/c it’s not “full-time” yet. Soon, right? In the meantime, being grateful for what I do have. Thanks for the reminder!
A.
Emelie Rota
Thanks Amber! It’s so easy to get mired in stress, overwhelm, and despair… especially since we’re trying to do it all – full time job + passion project.
Soon enough though, we’ll leap!
Right now, I’m grateful for a flexible schedule and guaranteed salary while I set up my infrastructure and strategy… then… BOOM! Off to the races!
Justin | Personal Development
Hi Emelie,
Many people are waking up to a life that they no longer desire. I didn’t take part in the construction of the 9 to 5 rat-race and I certainly do not want to participate in it.
It sounds like you are in a transition now and I know that you will be successful in your online journey.
Cordelia
Your story really reached out to me because I’m in the exact same position–knowing that I’m not where I want to be, working to build something better for myself…but still having to show up to the 9-5 each day to pay the mortgage and the grocery bills.
It can be so frustrating, knowing clearly that you’re not happy with your current circumstances but having to wait while you work to create a different future for yourself. It’s always encouraging to find someone else doing the “9-5er by day, blogger by night (or whenever).” Especially since so many motivational blogs are from people who’ve already made it, not those of us who are still in the trenches.
I know exactly how you feel, being spread thin and yet oddly happier because at least now you’re working towards something that matters. Good luck to you on your journey to freedom–you clearly have what it takes to make it!
Stacey
Hey Emelie!
I love this post!
Human beings are wired to seek novelty and challenge, so it’s no wonder that we often reach and stretch and find that we always have a little (if not a lot) too much on our plate.
We generally feel slightly overwhelmed. And that can feel stressful. But your post reminds us that it doesn’t have to. It can feel AMAZING if we make sure that our priorities are lined up with our values.
Like Adam I love the part where you said we don’t have to leap all at once. We can take action (even small steps!) toward our dreams and find ourselves LIVING them in very short time.
Again, as you said, lovely little coincidences will happen to show us that we are on the right path.
Thanks again for such a great post!!