The Theory Of Positivity
Feb
It was brought to my attention recently be a concerned reader, that the overall negative and pessimistic tone of my blog had turned him off and may be turning other readers away as well. Up until this point, I hadn’t thought of that as being a concern.
It’s interesting because my traffic and subscribers have been declining as of late and I wasn’t sure why. So I read his email with an open mind and tried to take his comments seriously.
His email was direct and critical and it hit me especially hard. But that’s a good thing.
So, after reading his email, I started to look more deeply at my writing style and tone and saw some things I didn’t like. The first thing I noticed is how negative I am. Almost all of my posts are “this sucks” or “that sucks”.
Telling someone how much something sucks doesn’t make it better. I have many readers tell me how a particular post hits home or how much they can relate to me and that’s great. I love connecting with these folks.
But I need to ask myself what I can offer them. Complaining about my job or about office life in general does not help those who feel stuck.
My goal is to help people understand that there is absolutely no reason to spend your life doing something you hate. It is also my goal to help people find a way out and begin to enjoy their lives.
If you’re new here and are not familiar with my story, I am extremely unhappy with my job and have allowed it to dictate my happiness for years. I write out of frustration and anger often times and hope my message resonates with my readers.
I have built my blog on the premise of my miserable life and now realize that I have written little in the way of actually helping people.
While I have received many compliments about what I am doing here, I also have to look at if I am really helping people. Sure, it’s interesting to read all about how much I hate my boss or why we need to quit our jobs, but then what? My goal is to build a business online and I have to wonder if that can happen without offering a solution for people.
I had to ask myself if I would be in a better position to help people if I:
- Was more positive
- Had already quit my job
- Could offer concrete ideas on how to quit a job you hate
I think the answer is clearly yes.
Will I have a better chance for success with this blog, my family, and life in general if I’m a happier person? Again, yes.
Successful Blogs Are Helpful
Successful blogs seem to have some important things in common. They offer solutions to peoples problems, help people get what they want, or make their lives better. Maybe all three.
When was the last time you cam across a highly successful blog that was completely negative and focused on all the things that are wrong? They’re out there, but they are few.
As a blogger, it’s very important to be true to your voice and be as real as possible (which I am). I think it’s also important to figure out who your readers are and find out what they need and want. We can feel like we’re writing the most inspiring and awesome content in the world, but if doesn’t work for your readers, it’s useless.
I’m very curious to see if writing in a more positive light will improve my blog or hurt it. Hopefully, the former…
I’m Still The Grinder
First and foremost, I want to be clear about the fact that I am not going to change what I write about because I am very passionate about it. I am also not going to become Mr. Positivity 🙂 overnight and start spewing rainbows and butterflies.
I am however, going to try to have a more positive outlook on life and hopefully in turn, become a better person. I believe if I become a better person, that I can help you become one as well.
It’s funny, because I’ve read Think and Grow Rich multiple times and yet have failed to implement its cardinal rule in my own life. Thoughts Are Things! We become what we think about all day long, and I have thinking about everything that is wrong with the world. Is it any wonder I’m in the position I’m currently in. I think not.
Life is what we make of it and any given situation can be viewed in a number of different ways. For example, someone who has my life might think it’s perfect. A stable job, loving wife, beautiful daughters, etc. I have, up until this point, been looking at all the things wrong with my life, not the things I actually have.
I have been choosing to look at all the negatives for so long that I have become a black cloud of misery. It makes for good reading, but it clearly is not working in my life. One of my favorite sayings is “for things to get better, we need to get better”. I need to get better….
Is Change Good?
To be honest, I feel like I’m doing good things with my blog and will continue moving forward in my usual manner. I love what I have built thus far with this blog and my small, but growing community is great.
I just want to make this the best possible resource I can for someone who is trapped in a miserable job and desperately needs a way out. Hopefully I can offer valuable insights that will be useful for you as you work to beat the grind…
Change is not inherently good or bad, but rather is based on the circumstances and reactions it receives.
Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts about this post. What do you think?
I would greatly appreciate any feedback you may have and look forward to an onslaught of emails telling me I am selling out hearing from you.
Dino Dogan
This is an interesting post and speaking of “negative” blogs that are successful, the anti-social media blog is pretty successful and totally “negative”.
I’m putting “negative” in quotes because I think that people are generally misguided as to what constitutes negative and positive (and of course, I have all the right answers lol)
Yes, the overall “feel” of social community is very Tony Robbinsy, positivism at all cost, etc. The whole Secret, Attraction Law, and other nonsense is running rampant and in many ways is responsible for the crisis in economy we’re facing today (read Bright Sided for the complete, worked out logic of that statement.) Moving on…
To me, being positive is NOT about being bubbly, hunky dory, smile at all cost, never say a bad word about xyz and other, similar, outward expressions of the law of attraction and positive psychology movement.
To me, being positive is captured in something I’ve read in a Dalai Lama book (sorry, I dont remember which one, Ive read many)
When the Chinese forced Dalai Lama to flee Tibet when he was 14, there was very little to be positive about. Except, he saw his situation as an opportunity to practice compassion.
THAT to me, captures what it means to be positive.
So, you can say “this sucks”. but dont say it unless you have a better way of doing it or looking at it.
I hope that relates at least partially what positivity means to me. And for the record, I never viewed your blog as negative. So here is another point to keep in mind.
When people read a book (or a blog) they are reading it in their own voice and place their own infliction as well as a positive or negative spin on the meaning of phrases and such.
So, the way you write may have not been negative, instead the reader read it “negatively”, and THAT is entirely on the reader, not on the writer. So there :-p
Jay
As long as there’s some humor, and something helpful offered that’s thought provoking, to go along with the ‘negativity’ I’ll keep reading. I think you do that well. this is the real world and your blog tells me you’re real. You’re not some bot out there spewing the party line, blowing sunshine and happy times up everybody’s britches leg, while trying to sell something. keep it coming!
Steve
Jay,
Thanks for the kind words. I try to be open and honest with everyone and even updated my About Me page to share some additional info.
I have no problem being a negative, sarcastic writer (obviously), as long as it’s what is in my heart.
If I try to be a more positive person, then that will most likely come across in my writing.
Steve
Dino,
I don’t think being positive means putting on an act, being overly bubbly, or pretending to be happy either. What it means to me is when we look at any given circumstance and see the opportunity.
I know I am negative, sarcastic, and sort of an asshole, but I have allowed myself to fall into that mind set. Years ago, I was a totally different person and I made a lot of great things happen. I want that back.
Of course any post is subject to interpretation and the author’s intention may be lost.
Thanks for the insight, I appreciate it.
Jill - Jack and Jill Travel The World
I’ve also never got a negative vibe out your blog.
Maybe it comes across as negative because you don’t affirm that they’re doing the right thing? You know, when you’re stuck in a 9-5 job, the last thing you want to hear is that you’re… well, stuck. You’d like to hear that what you’re doing is for a greater purpose, you’d like someone to tell you that you’re not wasting your life away in a cubicle.
Just an idea but maybe you can provide tips on how to make a horrible job more bearable by — err, I dunno – How make your weekdays suck less – type of post.
Something like that. I’m sorry I’m not being too articulate right now. The coffee machine in the building broke. Ugh.
Steve
Jill,
You make a good point but the whole purpose of my blog is to let people know that they ARE wasting their lives in a cubicle, unless of course you like your job…
I definitely need to start offering some concrete tips for those in similar positions. I have heard this a few times now and I know I need to change some things.
Thanks for your ideas..
Baz
The way I see it is this: Your blog’s focus is for those who also want to end the grind. It’s not a for people who enjoy the grind.
Sure, positive posts are useful and motivational. But the factor that attracts people to your blog isn’t that primarily.
It’s because they feel you’re talking to them…where they live each day.
I agree with Dino in that having an alternative is important. But I always seem to get that from your posts anyway. 🙂
Steve
Barry,
This is how I have been thinking since I started my blog. I want people to be able to identify with me and see that there is hope of getting away from a miserable job. I haven’t done it yet, but I will!
I really need to figure out just exactly who is my audience and who should be my target audience.
Jeremy
Well Steve, you sure seem to have connected with a few readers pretty well. You said you are going to stay on topic and talk about your passion. But you intend to give even MORE value to your readers with a more positive tone. Hey, if your still providing valuable material, even more insight and do it with a better attitude, I say go for it! We aren’t losing out. We will still get the good advice from you that we’ve always gotten, and a little more of it. I can’t imagine why it would be a problem if you are more positive about it. What was and what is, doesn’t have to be the measure of what can be.
Best wishes.
Steve
Jeremy,
Thanks again for all your time and insights, it means a lot.
This is a great comment and I appreciate your support here.
I feel as though my writing style works well for those who care to listen and I plan to start adding more suggestions and tips for making our lives better. Being so negative all the time isn’t serving anyone well and it’s actually been hurting my family for a long time.
Coming home every day in a foul mood isn’t fair to my wife and definitely unfair to 2 little girls. I’m not going to be Tony Robbins here, but I would like to add a positive spin on how I look at the world.
I think everyone will win. Of course when I’m having a bad day, I may unleash hell on here……
Jaana
Hi,
I am one of those who have been thinking of unsubsribing. But I have no problem with your negativity/positivity. It is a different thing that is bugging me. I was hoping that this blog would follow you as you leave the grind. But I see no real actions here towards that goal.
Lately, I have been reading http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/ (especially the older entries and “best of”). He has already succeeded and can spread the mindset of doing the change and living it.
Other thing you might benefit of reading is Tim Ferris’s 4-hour-workweek.
Here I can pickup the mindset of wanting to leave and feeling miserable, but no way out, no solutions. I think you need to focus more on helping yourself than helping others. You cannot know what it is like if you have not done it and thus cannot help others do it.
I am in the same process myself. I started by arranging myself a sabbatical. Now I feel I would not have been able to progress this much in several years, had I not done that. It is very hard to get your thoughts aligned to what you really want if you are spending all your time in the rat race.
Anyway, I hope you all the best and I hope you succeed in your endeavour!
ps. I probably won’t be back to follow the further comments on this post.
Steve
Jaana,
Thanks for your honest feedback.
The whole idea for this blog is to share my journey of getting out of a job I hate by building this blog into a flourishing and profitable business. I can see how you would like to read about me actually getting out,but it takes time.
I have been stuck in cubicle hell for 9 years and have 9 years worth of responsibilities as well. I have been blogging for less than 4 months. You probably know that making any kind of significant income online takes time. A long time.
Steve Pavlina is a great resource and I highly recommend his blog. I am just getting started here, so you need to cut me some slack. I realize that I need to begin writing about the steps I am taking towards getting out of my job, but they are very small right now.
I’m just trying to build this blog right now and figure out what the hell I’m doing.
Comparing me to Tim Ferris and Steve Pavlina is apples and oranges. Not even close…
I am sorry to see you go but you will see this response because I use the Reply Me plugin!!!
Keith
I say be yourself, who cares what naysayers think, they will NEVER be your customers anyway, regardless of how much you try to please them. Most of them only want free handouts anyway and if you plan on quitting your job, you will have to monetize at some point. I promise you that “most” of your customers will NOT be commentors here on your blog, I learned this myself the hard way….
I say keep doing what you are doing and be yourself, if “in your face” is how you are, the people that like that will end up being your customers, the ones that want to have their “ears tickled” can go to a motivational blog…. just my opinion, but some people need a kick in the ass!
Steve
Keith,
My first thought was to blow off those who told me that my blog/writing/attitude wasn’t working for them. The thing is that I DO care what people are saying because I want to get better at this. I’m not saying I’m going to change my beliefs or opinions, but I do want to hear what my readers have to say.
I think being more positive will help my readers, not earn me a traitor badge.
I have no idea who my ideal audience is and how to eventually monetize this blog. I’m trying to figure it out now.
A lot of these people will never buy a thing from me and that’s fine. If I can improve my writing, appeal, or authority, I will gladly take suggestions. Many of my readers know a lot more about this stuff that I do.
I will keep doing what I do best and that’s write each post with passion behind it.
Thanks for the comment
Keith
By the way, you need some coding help on your RT button, it takes you away from this page (bad move) and this is what the tweet looks like:
RT@endgrind <a title="The Theory Of Positivity"… http://bt.io/Gfd5 (via @backtype)
I recommend using the actual twitter button from twitter
http://twitter.com/about/resources/tweetbutton
Steve
Changed, thanks. By the way, did you notice my post “I Love The Smell Of Comments In The Morning”? It shows I got 433 Tweets. I thought it was a good article, but not that good..guess the code is a little more screwed up than I thought.
Jeremy
@Jaana,
Steve Pavlina & Tim Ferris (http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/)both have excellent blogs. Another excellent one is 48 Days by Dan Miller http://www.48days.com/dans-blog/
Leah | Smart Goals for 20-somethings
Self-reflection is always good- but I never thought you were negative. You pointed out something you didn’t like about your current situations and now you’re beginning the process to change. I have been told I’m overly positive so believe me when I’m telling you this.
I think people lose interest because they might feel the same way but are not in a place to start implementing change in their lives. What you are setting out to do could feel impossible to them so now they’re feeling hopeless and depressed. However, I always felt it was more important for me to “hangout” with people that challenging me to grow even if I’m not there yet. Chances are I will be soon.
There’s nothing to lose by reading reading your posts, only to gain. 🙂
Steve
Leah,
I really appreciate this comment.
The commenter that originally got me thinking about all of this and inspired this post said that my posts were depressing and negative bitch sessions full of self pity. I could have easily just cast that aside as being a fluke but I took a deeper look at my writing.
I know there are more people who feel this way and I don’t like it. I wrote from personal experience and that experience has been negative and depressing. However, I don’t know how much I can help people if I am just venting and expressing my frustration towards corporate America.
I need to look at the value I am providing to my readers because I plan on making this my full-time job. While reading my blog might be interesting or funny, that won’t pay the bills when it’s time.
What I need to do is figure out how to become resourceful and offer something tangible for my readers. I always look at Pat Flynn from SmartPassiveIncome.com for inspiration. He continually gives his readers helpful advice and has a booming blog!
Tariq and Shaheera
Hey Steve,
Hmm. We did notice that your blog was eminating negative vibes but we guessed it was just due to your personality. After all, not everyone runs around hugging the people they see and sing upbeat songs on the bus to work.
However, the fact that you want to add value to your readers is awesome. Even better, you plan to implement this positive outlook with your family too. These two changes don’t mean you’re selling out. If it makes the people you care about happy, which in turn will make you happy too, then why not? 🙂
Good luck with your journey, Steve. Don’t worry, you WILL get out of the grind!
ps: Pat is truly an amazing rolemodel!
Tariq and Shaheera
Steve
Hi Guys,
My personality is definitely negative so I’m not surprised that my writing is that way. It not going to be easy to see things more positively, but I have to start somewhere. Thanks for the support, it means a lot 🙂
Pangeran Wiguan
People have enough of negativity in their life.
We shouldn’t add more. 😀
But, this does not mean not to give negative review about something that you think sucks big times.
So the main concept is trying to be helpful, but always remember that we can’t make everyone happy.
Steve
Yes, I have learned that I cannot make everyone happy. I also know that the world needs more doers and fewer complainers.
Jaana
@Jeremy
Thanks for the link to 48 days.
@Steve
You chose to compare yourself to Pavlina and Ferris instead of taking them as reference and inspiration. Interesting.
I did not come here to judge you. I came to help you. But it is your call.
Let me explain why I offered those resources to you.
Why Pavlina? Because you really ought to read his posts about polarity.
You are now using mixed polarities. You are using both your hate, and your wish to help/support others. Those are feelings/acts of different polarities. They will negate each other and prevent you from manifesting your desires.
It is ok to choose “the dark side” too, but mixing does not work.
Why Ferris? Because his book contain a lot of practical advices on finding, evaluating and marketing your muse/product.
I think that is one of the areas that you need to concentrate on. Having a blog and trying to get a huge audience for it is not a solution in itself. Actually, I think it goes another way around – you need some added value and insight to gain audience. And you cannot expect your readers to find out that stuff to you.
Focus, Steve! You can do it if you choose so.
Steve
Jaana,
Thanks for coming back (to call me out on this) 🙂
You original comment sounded like you were comparing me to them, but it could simply be my negative disposition. I understand you are trying to help and I appreciate it. I have read Steve Pavlina’s blog and think it’s excellent. I have actually linked to several of his posts in past posts.
While I do possess a bit of hatred for a few things, such as my job and the 9 to 5 lifestyle, I think that by sharing my frustrations with others who are in the same boat, I am helping them. I have received a number of comments/email thanking me for helping them see that life doesn’t have to be a grind.
I understand that I cannot preach what I have not done with any level of effectiveness. I am working on a strategy that will get me out of this job and I think it will be helpful to my readers to read it.
I have realized that being on the “dark side” may not be the best way to help my readers. As much as I enjoy trashing the corporate culture, it doesn’t offer any real concrete solutions for those trying to get out.
Tim
Hey Steve,
I actually just stumbled upon your blog a few days ago from Pats blog.
I immediately had the feeling that there was something here that could keep me around for a longer time. However, I didn’t immediately press the RSS button as I first like to feel the vibe the blog sends out and the regularity of posts. In the later your score is quite nice actually. Around 3 posts/week is pretty solid and just about the amount of posts I expect. Any more would be spam and not helpfull.
However, with this post you hit the nail on its head and confirmed what my feeling was subconsciously.
I don’t mind being negative as I am/was a cynic myself and I know where all that dark energy comes from. In fact I have been where you are now not too long ago. I had a full-time job and my online business on the side. I was miserable to say the least.
Back to your blog and how I hope I can help you with a suggestion. I think in order to help people you’ll have to do what you preach. Personally I don’t consider blogging a business-model. It’s a marketing channel either for products or a personal brand. It won’t generate income unless you prove you know what you are talking about.
Almost every successful blog has one thing in common: they didn’t start out on the internet blogging!
Pat had his greenexam. Glenn from viperchill has his affiliate marketing sites. Tim Ferris didn’t write his book before he had BrainQuicken. You see the pattern?
Therefore my advice is to actually start a business that sells something. I run an online-store with drop-shipping and it allowed me to quit my job. Not from one day to another but slowly and steady. On the first of march it will actually be the 1st anniversary of the IDEA of running the shop. So instead of ‘wasting’ my time blogging for profit I created something and will only start blogging in the next month or even later.
The real way out of the grind is not to write about it but to do something about it and tell people how you did it. Nobody will care about your negativity when you did it. Besides it will automatically disappear on the day you quit. It was one of my strangest days in my life – you cannot describe the feeling unless you finally did it and even then it’s hard to imagine for someone else.
Think about it and I’ll be following your blog for a few more weeks and who knows maybe eventually I’ll find this juicy RSS button 🙂
Good luck with you putting an end to the grind – you’ve got the potential – use it.
Steve
Hey Tim,
Glad you found my blog. I love Pat’s site and it has been a source of inspiration for me.
Congrats on quitting your job and doing something you enjoy. That’s awesome!
I am starting to really understand that blogging is not a business, but rather the platform in which it can be promoted. Pat’s blog doesn’t make him that much money, but all of his affiliate products, iPhone apps, and eBooks make him the bulk of it.
I have yet to decide how I will monetize this and what business model I will follow. Right now, I am just trying to figure out the best way to help people.
My goal is to build one or more online businesses that revolve around this blog. It may be an eBook I write in the future or through affiliates. I’m not sure.
You are 100% right about the way to get out of the grind. I need to do something towards getting out and then share that knowledge. I look forward to the day I become oficially self employed. I cannot stop thinking about it…
By the way, I will be creating a segment on the blog for success stories and would love it if you would write a short post about how you beat the 9 to 5 and what you’re doing now!
Tim
sure no problem mail me once you’re ready to go.
concerning affiliates take a note from pats book. with his niche site duel he shows everyone what he does and how he does it with which tools.
it’s no conincidence that market samurai is one of his best selling affiliates. he shows in several posts how ms makes him money and how we can use it ourselfs.
he doesn’t earn that much with his niche site (yet) but demonstrates how his knowledge can be applied. if you took a model like that, executed a plan that is easily repeatable and then get some affiliates, you’ll be golden.
on the one hand you’ll earn (some or more) money from your income source and on the other hand you’ll prove that you know what you’re talking about and eventually people will buy your tools to replicate your success.
Steve
I definitely will email you soon.
I don’t plan on setting up niche sites any time soon. I spent about a month as a member of NIche Profit Classroom, which is a paid membership site that teaches you step by step how to set up these mini sites. It was great info but I found it too tedious and boring to write articles about things I don’t care about.
I think it can be highly successful though and I may revisit it at some point.
Tim
yeah absolutely and my advice wasn’t to set up niche sites just do something to earn money.
let’s keep in contact and share our thoughts maybe you’ll have some ideas when we’re finished 🙂
Steve
Sounds great, I look forward to it!
Yuri
Yes Steve, that’s the way to go! Saying how much everything sucks won’t get anyone anywhere.
I’ve come across a phrase several times which is: “Don’t complain; do something instead!” It implies that it’s better to spend energy you waste on complaining on actually helping the condition you’re in and changing it for good.
I especially liked the line “We become what we think about all day long” — I haven’t thought about it that way, but it seems to be so true!
Actually, I’m in a similar situation recently: I can’t make myself do a lot, and I subconsciously know why, so I’m complaining to myself all the time about what a failure I am, instead of doing something. Positive attitude and robust action will see me out of this pit in no time! Thanks for this insight 🙂
Steve
Yuri, Good to hear from you again!
I think negativity certainly has its place and this blog has plenty of space for it! However, I want to start focusing on solving 1) solving my problem of a miserable job and 2) Starting to help others with their problems.
It’s hard to help people by just spewing negativity all the time.
What’s going on with you? What’s the reason you’re lacking motivation?
Yuri
Chris Guillebeau nailed it in his post about superpowers: http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/superpowers/
Most of the time I don’t know what to do next. So I’m doing something unproductive instead 🙂
I’ve made conclusions and put up a list of important things to do on my desktop and right behind my desk to see it at all times. It really is motivating! When I have nothing to do, I look at this list and see that I have a lot of work, so I start doing it. That simple.
Steve
Yuri,
I had not read that post, but it’s very good.
You are not alone, my friend. Most people will do nothing or something unrelated to their goals when they are overwhelmed or lack direction.
Your list is a great idea and if it actually works for you, then good for you.
Why don’t you know what to do? Are you referring to your blog only?
Yuri
No, it’s not only the blog, it’s the general state of things. There is a lot I should be doing.
BTW what works for me recently is to focus on just one thing for the day. I’ve written about it somewhere already 🙂 Basically I pick just one thing to do for the day, which is enough for me to say in the evening that the day is well-spent.
Steve
That’s an interesting strategy. I guess if it’s working for you, then keep it up. Hope to catch up with you soon.
susie@newdaynewlesson
I just came across your blog today after you found me on twitter. (How btw?)
I have read a few of your pages now and of course this one interested me.
I used to have quite a negative viewpoint. I consciously decided to start looking at things differently. (For me it started after a 10 day hospitalization with mild hemiparesis that they never found the cause of. I know now it was my soul’s way of reminding my body that I needed to change things.)
My blog is all about looking at each day in life and using the things that happened to you as positive learning experiences. When you are positive, you attract positive people. When you are negative, you attract negative people.
What I have seen for you is that it is definitely not all negative. You have an amazing passion for your family, for success and for helping others. Harness those.
Steve
Hi Susie,
I came across your profile recently and checked out your blog. I like the positive outlook you have and I can use more of that in my life right now.
It’s interesting that it took a major illness to change your disposition. I often think that I need some ind of life altering situation to happen fro me to change. Hopefully, it’s something good! I swear I have turned away a number of friends by being so pessimistic all the time and it has definitely hurt my marriage.
My family is what drives me to do what I do here. Honestly, I have to make this work!
Heather
I realize this was posted over a week ago, but may I throw my two-cents in? What struck me as odd about this post was that I was actually more intrigued by the comments than the post itself. There were several interesting points made, and I have a few ideas of my own to offer.
As far as this blog being positive or negative – I think that whole discussion is irrelevant.
People aren’t going to make the decision to follow your blog based solely on whether it is positive or negative. People read blogs either because they are seeking information, or because that blog resonates with them. That’s what your blog does for me – I can relate to it. I know where you’re coming from – I’ve been there, and you are speaking to me on a level that I am comfortable with.
Honestly, if you had already gotten out of the grind before starting this blog, and were simply preaching to me about why I should follow suit and how I’m expected to do so, I wouldn’t be reading. Leah is right, I also like to “hang out” with people who challenge me to grow, and that’s what you do, but you do it as a peer.
I like to be spoken to, not preached at. As peers, I think we can challenge each other.
That said, I want to point out that you saying, “You make a good point but the whole purpose of my blog is to let people know that they ARE wasting their lives in a cubicle,” really struck me as sort of preachy. I don’t necessarily think it’s up to you (or to me, or to anyone) to decide who is or isn’t wasting their life.
It’s not a waste if it makes you happy, and some people really do find happiness sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours a day. It’s all a matter of perspective. I agree that there are better ways to live, but for some, there simply is no other way – it’s all they know. For others, the fear of change is so paralyzing that continuing to work at a “barely adequate” job is by far the preferable choice.
Which brings me to another good point that Leah made: many people are not ready to make such a drastic change as you are proposing. Let’s face it, change is scary – downright terrifying for some.
I know you pooh-poohed the idea of writing posts about how to make your job more bearable, but why? Being stuck in a job you don’t like doesn’t have to be an all together miserable experience. There is always a silver lining, isn’t there? As long as you are stuck there, you might as well make the best of it, right?
If you really want to put a positive spin on things, why not offer people a chance at something resembling happiness? How about a post on how to make the best of a crappy job? Or how to make time for your goals while you still have your job? Or how to get your family on board with your goals of quitting your job? These types of posts wouldn’t have to have you spewing sunshine, but could offer some valuable content for your readers.
I loved the idea of guest posts that you wrote about in A Little Help From My Friends , but I disagree with limiting these posts to people who have successfully gotten out of the grind. You also need to include people who are in the process of doing this.
That’s where I am. I quit my job almost a year ago, because it was standing in the way of where I wanted to go. However, I’m still not where I want to be, and I seem to be stuck in a new “grind.” Posts from people in similar situations would be a big help to me, and probably go a long way to distill some of that fear of change I spoke about.
Your readers want to see the process, they want to know each step that needs to be taken, and how to do it, and what to do if it doesn’t work.
I’m going to step off of my soapbox now, and I will keep reading, positive or negative, because I truly enjoy your blog 🙂
Steve
Heather,
First off, thanks so much for the incredibly thoughtful comment here! I’m not sure if having the comments more interesting than the post is a good thing, but I do try to get conversations going…
I can understand your point about the insignificance of being positive or negative, but I don’t agree. Being overly negative (which I have been) is not going to help someone. Yes, it will resonate with some people and that’s what I want. I also want to help people see things can be better. Always talking about the dark side of everything is just going to depress people even further.
I like the fact that people can relate to my misery because they are living it as well. If I had already figured out how to get out and was living my passion, wouldn’t you want to learn exactly how I did it? I don’t ever want to come across as preachy, but would like to be an expert at getting out of the rat race.
As far as people wasting their lives in a cubicle, you’re right, I have no idea if that actually is something that they love. I often write when I’m most passionate (at work, hating my job) and things like that come out. If someone loves their office job, great for them.
I wrote a post yesterday on Dumb Little Man and it was published today. It’s called How To Stay Motivated When You Hate Your Job. It actually has a positive spin on it and talks about how to survive a job you hate.
I definitely will be posting others stories of success breaks from the 9 to 5. I like the idea of publishing posts from those who are in our situation as well. Are you volunteering to write a post for me? 🙂
What’s your grind now? Is it related to Internet marketing or blogging?
I would love to write about the process I am going through. I just need to figure out how it’s going to go down.
I hope to see you around. Thanks again
Heather
Steve,
Actually, my new grind is writing, but not blogging. I was freelancing part-time, and my job was just taking too much time away from that. Something had to give, and I opted to jump with both feet toward my goal. I’m still deciding whether that was a good choice or not.
I would love to start a blog, but am somewhat conflicted about some of the specifics. I would be happy to help you out with a post or two though.
Shoot me an email when you have time and we can discuss some specifics. Let me know what you’re looking for.
I look forward to talking more 🙂
Steve
Heather,
I love how you say that your job was taking too much of your time away from your writing. Than’s how I feel as well. My 9-5 is merely a distraction to what I really need to do every day.
What are your conflicting issues surrounding blogging?
James Debono
Hi Steve,
Slightly behind the curve here but I would like to say that I enjoyed your article and the concept of your blog overall as your situation resonates with me.
Don’t change the style of your blog it reflects you, your personality and what is important to you, your passion. Your passion is your catalyst that drives you forward and will inevitably empower you to make those changes in your life and “end the grind”.
Personaly I wish you Every Success and stay true to yourself,
James Debono
Steve
James,
Sorry to hear that my blog resonates with you 🙂
I have made a few adjustments to how I approach my writing, but I have kept my passion in tact. I think focusing on helping instead of complaining has served my readers better.
I appreciate your support.
AstroGremlin
Negativity is the root of all success. The author of this book started out selling newspapers at the age of six. Part of his “system” is “inspiration to action.” The example? A guy pushes him out of his restaurant for selling papers. But he has sold quite a few and he knows if he doesn’t sell his papers, he’s screwed. He goes back. A genuine appreciation for the downside is the inspiration for action. You can read a lot of it for free on Amazon; it’s so old it’s probably free online. The Success System That Never Fails [Paperback] William Clement Stone