The Things We Think And Do Not Say
Aug

Why is it that when I’m talking to someone and I ask them about their job they usually respond with something like “it could be worse”, “it’s a paycheck”, or “it pays the bills”?
Is it because they don’t want to complain, don’t want to seem like ungrateful brats, or maybe actually think that living like this is OK?
Well, its’ not! Working for simply a means to and end is not living your life. It’s grinding.
I wish people would be more upfront and honest and speak what’s really on their minds. And that’s that they hate their fucking jobs more than they ever thought possible. Their jobs are holding them captive from a better life. The truth is that they would love to do something more fulfilling or inspiring but they feel like they can’t.
I suppose we can blame society or our prideful culture for why we can’t just tell it like it is. It’s this “everything is great” face we feel like we need to put on in public that pisses me off. I know your job sucks, you know your job sucks, so why not just tell it straight up?
Online, it’s not nearly as bad because of the whole “you will never meet me/ anonymity” thing. I get comments and emails all the time with horror stories from people who are at their wits end. It’s real and I love it. Why? Because once you acknowledge it, you can move forward and work on making a change. Trying to fool yourself into thinking that working a shit job with no real meaning is acceptable is a poor way to spend your life.
In my perfect world, people would tell it like it is.
A perfect example of what we typically hear:
Me: “John, how was your day at the office?”
John: “Oh, pretty good. I’m up for a big promotion next month and that means a nice raise and another week of paid vacation”.
What he is really thinking:
Me: “John, how was your day at the office?”
John: “I hope my miserable son of a bitch boss chokes on his ham and cheese sandwich at lunch today. I’m being forced into taking on a shitload of additional responsibility with a raise small enough not to make a difference in my life but large enough to put me into another tax bracket.
Not only that, but I’ll have to travel 20 weeks per year and be away from my wife and newborn son. And if I don’t take this job, I won’t have one at all. SonofafuckingbitchIhatelife!!!!!”
That’s the reality of what many of us are dealing with every day. We just don’t hear it often.
And while people are much more open to talk about their workΒ issues online, there is still something holding them back from being completely honest. And it’s called anonymity, and for the most part, we don’t have it.
What People Are REALLY Dealing With Out There
In my quest for truth, I stumbled onto a website called SecretTweet.com. It’s a site where people enter anonymous tweets about anything they want. Before you visit, be warned that there are plenty of sex related tweets here. Shocker, I know. This country is not obsessed with sex and porn….right…
Since it’s completely anonymous, you can imagine there is some seriously heavy shit on there. People with deep, dark secrets are finally able to get these things off their chests.
As you read through them, you begin to realize the mind frame of people. People are feeling hopeless, lost, depressed, and scared.
This is real truth.
This is why we need to wake people up to the fact that life does not need to be this bad. It really doesn’t. This is why I write this blog.
A few of these messages actually got me really choked up because of the emotional pain these people are going through. It’s really difficult to see some of the issues people are harboring.
As you can imagine, there are tons of tweets about all sorts of crazy stuff, so I searched for job related tweets. I was not so much shocked as I was saddened by what I read. As you will see, far too many people have hit the wall and need help badly. I only wish I could help them all.
So read these carefully and you will see exactly why we need to take action on creating our own futures and not be dependent on a “secure” job.
Some of these are funny, but most are gut wrenching to read…
The Secrets…
This is what we’re coming to here. Jobs are scarce and people are struggling to get by. This is the exact reason you need to get off your ass right now and start creating a business for yourself. You will never get fired from yourself.
Sadly, this is the story told my millions of people. A lack of proper education coupled with poor decisions. And by education, I don’t mean formal schooling, I mean they weren’t taught to create something for themselves. Instead, we’re taught to rely on our employer’s handouts.
The thought of being 50 and having nothing scares me to my core. It’s a very real possibility for many people. You have to decide now that you aren’t going to be one of them.
How many of us have been here? If you have, then you know how overwhelmingly depressing this is. If you haven’t, then thank God for that. You don’t ever want to be here. The unfortunate part is that this person is relying on someone else (a job) for their financial future. What about going out and creating something for yourself. I know it’s much easier said than done, but it can be done.
This is truly sad. Financial strain can be one of the hardest things you can deal with. I feel for this person and just wish they could see that there are plenty of opportunities out there. You just need to know how to find them.
This is a great example of one of the huge flaws in our society. We are led to believe that more education means a better job and more money. What we don’ t learn (until it’s too late), is that what it really means is much more debt and no guarantees whatsoever. In my interview with Leigh Peele, she told me that a fried of hers, who happens to have his PhD, is now working at Papa John’s because he can’t find a job.
Leigh also discusses the fact that she has no formal education, but rather has taught herself the skills to become very successful in her business.
This is a very common fear and one that will keep most of you in your jobs for the remainder of your lives. In the survey I ran last month, I saw this a lot in the responses. And while there is certainly nothing wrong with being afraid of failure (or flying), we need to get over it and just do it!
Wake up! I’m glad you can see that your job sucks and is totally wrong for you, but “can’t do anything else”?? Maybe this person is 16 years old and in that case, you’re excused because you’re too young to understand this shit. But regardless, this message stands for millions of others thinking.
People feel trapped. They feel trapped because of money, “security”, fear, lack of confidence, laziness, and indifference. There are tons of reasons that you might feel trapped, but you have to understand that the only trap is in your mind. There is no limit to what we can accomplish if we put forth the effort required. None whatsoever.
It’s great to see someone with passion for their business! Unfortunately, most businesses fail. The easiest solution is always going to be going out and getting yet another job. And then what? Waste 5 more years until you’re ready to start working on your business again?
Why not bust your ass like you never thought possible? Why not give it an honest 100%? Wouldn’t it be great not to have to find another job? Hell yes it would!
And by the way, your business is a real job!
Well, the world does need more strippers…
Seriously though, your education was not a waste! It might seem like it now, but it’s an experience you will always have. I’m not saying that it will help you in the job market or make more money, but having a degree is definitely an asset.
For those who are recent grads, make sure that you are pursuing your passion, not just trying to land a job that you think will be “good” or impress people. Make sure it’s good for you.
How many of us have sold our souls for money, prestige, or power? Far too many. We may sacrifice our happiness for a nice paycheck. We may give up our freedom for a “secure” job. We may fore go peace of mind for a high powered position.
We have to ask ourselves “At the end of the day (or our lifetimes), is it really worth it”? I say hell no!
In my opinion, this is the kind of thinking that can lead to great things. Once we know we don’t “need” our job, we can begin to explore our creativity and look at what we do want to do. Personally, I feel the exact same way. As much as it would suck in the short-term if I lost my job, it just might be the best thing that could ever happen to me.
What would you do if you got laid off today? Would you crawl under your covers and cry yourself to sleep? Or would you take it as an incredible opportunity to make big things happen for yourself?
I know this is a tough spot for the person with an employee mindset. While finding another job at this age might prove very difficult, you are never too old to start an online business. Now, I’m not championing online business as the solution to all problems, but it can be a great way to build something for yourself that cannot be taken away (unless of course, the Internet is shut down).
Welcome to corporate America, land of the boring and unfulfilling jobs. If you think the above scenario is a fluke, think again. This is the norm. People are bored stupid in their jobs and the best way (in their minds) is to piss away their days browsing around online.
If this is you, I urge you to do something creative with your time. If you have 7 hours to waste (and aren’t getting fired), then why not work on bettering your situation?
This is why I wrote this post. People won’t tell us that they’re miserable. I get it if you don’t want to be known as a complainer, but you’ve got to help yourself. Why are we fooling ourselves into being happy? Why not just be happy?
Do yourself a huge favor and stop pretending that your life is all rainbows and cupcakes and you have the most rewarding job in the world. If you work in social services or the Peace Corps, I might believe you because you are changing lives, but for the rest of us, it’s bullshit.
If I saw this in my Twitter stream, I would take it with a grain of salt. But the fact that it comes from an anonymous source tells me that it’s the real deal (no, it’s not me). This is really tough to read because this person clearly cannot take it anymore. Can you imagine feeling so hopeless in your job that you wanted to die???
No job is worth this kind of mental anguish. And certainly no boss…
Another person who put all their eggs into the “employee” basket. We must realize that life does not need to revolve around working for someone else. Don’t let your work status define you. There is nothing stopping you from being “somebody” again!
This is the #1 reason people feel trapped in their jobs. Responsibility. I have it, you have it, and it’s not going anywhere. The problem is that we view our jobs (you know, the place that pays us just as long as they decide to) as the key to providing for all of it.
What would happen if we took a chance and created a business for ourselves? It could fail, for sure. Could we always go back and get another job? I think so.
What will happen if you remain in your job for another 30 years? Yes, you will probably be able to pay your bills each month. But at what cost? Your happiness, freedom, and peace of mind are no longer in your control.
Where’s the real risk then?
Does This Wake You Up At All?
These are the things that people are dealing with every day of their lives. This is what’s going through the mind of your mailman that you see each day, the gas station attendant in your neighborhood, and the car salesman you bought your Honda from.
It has to stop.
What are YOU thinking?

Tim Webster
‘I can’t do anything else’ actually means ‘I *won’t* do anything else’
People are capable of far more than they imagine. Unfortunately they have self-defeating, limiting beliefs that make their negative (and untrue) comments become reality. It’s a cycle..’Oh I can’t do it’ *doesn’t try at all* ‘See? I told you I’d fail.. I’m useless..’
Snap out of it!
On the other hand, it’s impossible to put 100% of yourself into a project. In fact, I wouldn’t even recommend it. Imagine if you invested every second of your time, every dollar you had, on a business idea that ultimately failed? (And they will fail, and that’s still okay!)
You’d be devastated. Ruined emotionally, financially, and it would be an awful thing to recover from.
But, I do see what you’re saying. People barely put anything into a business idea. They take small, easy steps and make nearly no movement when they should focus on BIG and more difficult steps to make BIG impact.
There is more potential, more capability, more room for growth in the lives of every human than we can even imagine.
The problem is that people won’t let themselves get there!
Thanks for the post! Hope all is well, Steve!
Steve
Hey Tim,
On one hand, you’re right. Many people won’t put in enough effort (or any) to make a permanent change. On the other hand, I can totally see how these folks feel utterly trapped. I’m not sure if they are trying to create change in their loves, but regardless, it still comes down to the feeling of hopelessness. They need help.
I wish “snap our of it” was the answer but if you’ve ever been deep in the shit, then you know that’s not realistic. It’s like to tell a clinically depressed person to cheer up and be happy. They can’t.
That being said, there are far too many lazy people who “wish” for things to get better but won’t step up and take it. That’s hwe will be reading these same tweets from them in 5 years. Sad, truly.
Thanks for the comment, Tim
Tim Webster
I agree – ‘Snap out of it’ makes the process sound easy and instant.
I have reached out to some people who are deep in the shit. I remember one person very specifically. I offered to help them in any way I could, managing money, creating new opportunities, etc. They got mad at me for it. They got mad and yelled at me and said that they just want someone to feel sorry for them.
This isn’t my style, for better or worse, I guess it makes me a bit ruthless, but I’m a solutions guy. If someone has problems, I will help them fix them, but I will not hang around and let them sob with no intention of changing their situation.
So, I guess what they need to snap out of is the mentality that they are helpless. If tough, because we can’t reach out to these anonymous people. And unfortunately they won’t reach out to anyone else. Until they act, though, they will be where they are. π
Steve
Wow. They actually told you that they wanted you to feel sorry for them? I suppose that sometimes that’s what a person needs, but it’s just a short-term solution. Once the pity is over, they have to learn to get it together long enough to start making better choices.
Nobody is helpless.
Jens P. Berget
Hi Steve,
I’m going to start using SecretTweet right away π
I completely agree with what you’re saying, but I also believe that some of the problem for a lot of people (I sure now many that thinks this way) is that they’re never satisfied. I have several fairly close friends that are looking for better paid jobs, so they can buy more expensive cars and boats etcβ¦ And they’re looking for prestige. And, more money and prestige, is what’s making them happy. Not the tasks alone. I find this type of thinking to be disturbing. To me, it’s the other way around. If I’m happy doing what I do, I almost don’t care how much money I am making π
Jens
Steve
Jens,
I’m the exact same way. 10 years ago I thought that I wanted a high power, prestigious job and the black BMW 325i to along with it. As it turns out, I’m not money motivated. Sure money is important and I’d love to have enough to never have to worry about missing my car payment, but having more just to buy more toys is not the answer.
For some though, they need to feel important and they do this through fancy job titles and leasing $80,000 cars. My belief is that we need financial security to be at peace because if we are constantly worrying about how we’re going to pay our bills, we have that stress hanging over our heads.
Jens P. Berget
Exactly. I used to have this financial security, but now, writing a novel is hard when it comes to getting paid short term. And, yesterday my car got back from the car dealership, and they told me that it needs to be fixed for apx. $5,000 – talk about an interesting surprise π
Steve
“Interesting” is one way to look at it. I’m not sure that would be my choice of words though π
Jens P. Berget
That’s not the word my wife used either π
Jk Allen
I’ll go on record to say that there’s a good portion of our society that are brats. They sit back and wait for luck to capture them. While things are good they don’t appreciate it…and when things aren’t so good they don’t know what in the world to do. I’m not putting everyone in this bucket – but I am putting a lot of people in this bucket.
Maybe I’m a little too hard, but understand that I grew up in a culture where this current “state of our economy” has been a reality of our culture for centuries. It’s never been easy. It’s always been a challenge.
I guess everything is based on our life experienced.
While live on one side – I am empathetic to the fact that times are hard. People are in tough situations and I do empathize for them. I grew up seeing this type of devastation, which has boosted my organic motivation in life…but times are hard for many and I do wish everyone well.
Steve
JK,
Our society is definitely filled with spoiled, lazy brats. No doubt about it. Having the life we want does not happen by accident, we have to make it happen.
It’s sad that many people will just accept mediocrity or worse and although they are miserable, will never do anything about it.
It does really kill me to see the despair in these tweets. If you visited the site, you would have seen thousands of tweets about hardship, pain, and anguish.
That’s the real shit there, man.
JK Allen
Hey Steve,
I’ve actually checked out the site a couple of times since this post. It is real. It’s sad stuff. Not the type of place I can spend a lot of time at without getting a little emotional.
Hope your week is going well, my friend.
PEACE
Steve
I’m the same way JK. Some of the things on there are pretty disturbing and some are heart wrenching. So much pain out there, so much misery.
-Talk with you soon
Eugene
On the one hand I agree with the guys above…it’s all a mindset and what you are willing to do with it. You have to take action and try to fix your own life instead of complaining about it.
But in all honesty, that is much easier said than done. I’ve been in a shitty job that I complained about way too often. You can’t help it when you’re in a shitty environment. You can be happy-go-lucky, but a shitty environment will consume you.
And some people really do try and can’t get a job. Or are uneducated at the beginning of their journey and are caught in so much debt from school that they have no choice but to stick it out in shitty jobs.
The stripper comment really hit home for me because I’m recently going on a binge of school-hating. And I got out of it scot-free. I received enough scholarships to make my debt manageable. Then moved back in with my parents after school (that was a ton of fun!) so I could save as much as possible to pay that debt off.
But I knew what I was doing. My dad was diligent enough to teach about debt (and the worst kind…debt to the government). I have a feeling that many people aren’t as educated and just take on tons of loans because “they’ll earn more if they have a degree” or because the local politician (or the President) tells them they should.
They really would be better off being a stripper (ok, maybe not stripper…bartender maybe?). They’d earn more than I did right out of college and have no debt.
I think people judge others that don’t have a degree because of societal pressures. I think that people that can actually go out and make a living (not people that are sitting on welfare because they’re lazy) are the smart ones.
Steve
Hey Eugene,
You touched on a key concept and that’s of being consumed by your environment. I’ve been there many times and it feels like there is nothing that we can do. Of course, I know better, but that doesn’t change our feelings at the time.
Even yesterday, after being on vacation at the beach all week, I got to work and was overcome with an intense feeling of despair and lethargy. Life sucked badly yesterday and I let it. Fortunately, I shook it off and feel good today. For many, this happens every single day of their lives!
As far as taking on tons of debt in hopes that they will secure a good job is a joke. It doesn’t work and we know it now. I became a bartender/personal trainer in my early 20’s and lived debt free for many years.
I think a formal education is important, but does not equate to security or wealth.
It’s the power of hustle and drive that will allow people to live their lives how they choose. And you’re a great example of this dude!
Ben D.
Hey Steve,
What do I think? … I think this is quite depressing, because you’re right ! I think people are more and more disgusted by their jobs, and the reason is that most people do things that they don’t really enjoy. You touched a good point talking about recent grads, that they should first pursue their passion because trying to impress others (or themselves) by taking on jobs that don’t match nor relate to their passion. The “enjoyment” will only last a little while, until the fun wears out… What do I think : live to work, don’t work to live. Thanks for another good post.
Ben
Steve
Ben,
This is very depressing stuff here. I’m not sure when it became OK to spend your life working a job you hate, but it’s wrong. I don’t think there is any reason we need to do that. If you are miserable, you need to find a way out. It easier said than done of course, but it still must be done.
Too many grads come out of school full of piss and vinegar only to find that job market sucks and they can’t find a decent job. They just spent four years learning how to be an employee and they have no idea what to do when they can’t be.
Entrepreneurship courses should be mandatory throughout our formative years. I think we would see a lot more people taking charge of their lives and fewer depending on others if this happened.
Adrienne
Wow, that’s really kind of sad Steve.
I do have to agree with the guys though to an extent. I know without a shadow of a doubt that people can change. The problem is, most people aren’t willing to do the work. They would rather bitch and complain so that everyone will feel sorry for them. Problem is, we don’t.
I’m not saying that the economy isn’t bad and people have to stay in situations because they need to put food on the table. That is a reality for a LOT of people. But if you want a better life for you and your family, it’s up to you.
Which is another reason building relationships is huge. You never know when that right person will come into your life that will help open those doors you need opened in order to move you in the right direction. But it all starts with believing in yourself and once again, that’s up to you. Yep, life is one big choice after another.
Love your place over here Steve because you share with us all that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. That I know to be true.
Adrienne
Steve
Adrienne,
Good to see you here again π
I’m not looking at these tweets as complaints so much as cries for help. There are some real troubling issues at hand here and I honestly feel bad for their situations. I don’t know anything about their lives or if they’re lazy or not doing anything proactive, but it doesn’t matter to me. It kills me to see this kind of pain and it’s everywhere!!
The power of forming relationships is HUGE and you are a shining example of how to do this effectively. I’m sure you’ve had opportunities present themselves that you might not have otherwise had. All becasue you actually care about people and are genuinely interested in helping. I learned a lot about networking and building friendships from Marcus from TheSalesLion.com during our interview last night. He is a true master of creating solid connections with others and it’s helped his business immensely.
Adrienne
I agree Steve, you never know who is actually behind those tweets and it does break my heart to some extent. Not knowing who those people are or what their situations are, I don’t want to judge. I just know from experience of meeting so many people online that the majority of people would much rather complain then actually do something about it.
Marcus is fabulous at online connections as well Steve so I’ll be happy to hear that interview too. He’s a really great guy and yet another prime example of what can come from building relationships.
I spoke with a lady just yesterday on the phone that we had connected online. She was in tears so upset and lost. Everyone coming at her saying they could solve her problem but no one willing to reach out and help explain. That is what breaks my heart which is why I do what I do. Maybe I can save the world one person at a time. π
Steve
Unfortunately, you are probably right. People love to complain and will find anyone who is willing to listen. I still believe that many of these folks are trying and are just stuck. I wifh I could help them, I really do.
You seem to have a special gift for helping and teaching people. Your caring nature plays right into it and it’s no surprise you are where you are π
Cordelia
These tweets are so powerful and raw. They remind me of the Post Secret project, which I’ve always been drawn to.
I think part of confessing your real thoughts, even to an anonymous internet, is that it’s an act of admitting them to yourself as well. Even if no one else reads them, you yourself are putting writing the things you’ve been trying to avoid thinking.
Really powerful post and a great unique way to get your point across!
Steve
Kelly,
I’m sure a number of these people felt a huge sense of relief that they put their secret out there, even in anonymously. Some of the ones I read were pretty hardcore and I’m sure needed to be said for these people to find some semblance of peace with it.
Benny
Those are definitely some raw emotion in those tweets because those people just let it out.
Sounds like many of those people have fear and excuses.
I just watched a show about how unprepared for life the newly graduated are because all throughout life their parents were so involved in their lives and kept saying how great they are. The tweet about the prestigious college and being a stripper instead made me think of that. I don’t know her whole story but did she expect things to be handed to her after college? Probably.
But some of those tweets I can relate to because I feel that way about my job some days.
Great post Steve.
Steve
Benny,
I think most of are full of excuses and many of us overwhelmed by fear. I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid we weren’t coddled by our parents like kids are today. I don’t believe that everyone should be declared the winner, I don’t think we should be so wrapped up in making sure everyone has the same experiences.
Kids need to learn how to lose and not be poor sports. Kids don’t need their asses kissed, they need to be told like it is. They don’t need to be handed everything, they need to learn by trial and error.
Life will throw us all curveballs and challenges and we need to be prepared!
Sammy
Another great article. It’s true in most cases. Personally I have been an entrepreneur since 17 and once you develop that type of mind set it’s really tough to even consider applying for a job, besides trying to learn a new trade for the next business idea. If a new venture fails you have to stay strong and try another one with or without cash. There is a great blogger named Steve Pavlina, that really gets deep into this exact subject that I found interesting as well.